Things that you don't really want to hear in an interview

"We're finishing up interviews this week..."

You have this job. I'm good for this job. We had a good interview. Hire me now, and tell your "other interviews" that the position has been filled.

Generally, I'm getting tired of the interview process taking 1-2 months. I have things to do, and places to go. It's pretty insulting for a prospective employer to assume that you'll be just as available for the job 2 months from now, as you were when they interviewed you. Either that, or they just don't care if you are or not. Either way, it doesn't speak well to how they view their employees.

So where do you find all those jobs to apply to? I haven't applied to many jobs lately only because I am so not qualified I don't even waste my time or theirs.

On the other hand, I one job I applied for actually sent me an application to fill out (still not herd back yet after a couple weeks) and another company found my profile on Linked In and set up a phone interview for Friday (and no, I am not qualified for that job from what I can make out so far, but they called, so, of course I will talk to them)

I've learned that if I'm asked multiple questions about the desired skill that I don't have much experience with, they're in the process of ruling me out. Magenta squirrels don't get the job.

the words "ninja, wizard, black belt, guy/girl Friday, guru, customer experience enthusiast," or any other wording that tries to put lipstick on a pig of a job.

I know it's job ad and not interview, but I just saw a bunch of this on CL.

Indeed list jobs, and I have applied and was called as well as a few on Craigslist. Most of the jobs will never respond, but you have to keep going and some will respond, even if it is a phone interview, but usually they are for weeding people out as they ask more of the behavioral type of questions that they read from a sheet and write down what you say.

Things that clue me off things maybe did not go so well:
1. "we'll let you know EITHER way..."
2. "thanks for taking the time to come in today, enjoy the rest of your afternoon" or "have a nice day"
3. "no addit. questions?, good then we're done here"
4. "where did you park"
5. "i'll walk you to the exit"

comments-
1. Either way? obviously if I was the sure thing, they'd let me know. This most often results in NEVER hearing back at all, 2-5 as well but you KNOW if they tell you "they'll let you know" they really mean "I will NEVER let you know what happened"
2. They are sorry they took time out of my "busy" schedule and wasted my time, obviously I was not hired. The super polite interview is always suspect. This is also odd to say when I've told them prior I live only 15 min. or closer but the pt. is they realize i wasted my time.
3. This is blunt and no nonsense, I've also gotten "well we're out of time" or "my next interview should be waiting". There is NO expectation with this ending that I will ever hear back.
4. & 5. Designed to facilitate your exit and not cause awkwardness by 'graciously' walking you to the door/car esp. when the interview was less then 30 min. and you get the impression it was cut short. They also escort you out in offices with high security, I guess they think you might steal something, like one of the waiting room chairs or walk off with the wall TV or God forbid the Pen you filled out the application with.

That all being said MOST of my interviews that have lead to job offers have not been obvious in fact in my last job, I thought I interviewed poorly and didn't click, the manager called me 2 weeks later and asked if I still wanted the job and I was not even expecting an offer and of course when she called she wanted me to start the next day. So really ya just never know and can NEVER assume one way or the other untill a significant amount of time has passed.

^ that being said, when a company asks if you'd be willing to relocate and you say yes, they really shouldn't take 1-2 months to get back to you.

This has happened with this one company twice, now. Last time took them 2 months before I got the rejection spam email, and now it's been 2 weeks since my phone interview with the round 1 rep. If you're serious about me, shouldn't you grab me up so I can start moving?

" ...the manager called me 2 weeks later and asked if I still wanted the job and I was not even expecting an offer and of course when she called she wanted me to start the next day.'

Had similar experience and found out later that their first offer to the chosen candidate was rejected .

Some simply offer the job to the 2nd or 3rd choice or start the whole process again.

i hate hearing something along the lines of "We are going to be conducting 2nd round (and/or 3rd round) of interviews and we'll let you know if you made it to the next round." Nothing is more of a buzzkill than finding out you have to jump through more hoops to get to the prize. I feel like I'm Mario in the level where I have to kill Bowser to get Princess Peach.

Wow I can relate to all these posts. Yes I really dislike hearing they'll be interviewing all week or have a bunch of interviews to get through. Really makes you feel like you're just another number. It also seems to suggest that you didn't get the job. I have been very qualified for a few interviews I went on but did get caught off guard by a few questions here and there. In the past I have flubbed a few and still got the job but it seems times have changed and there is 0 room for error. Man these are tough times.

It's sad when you have a better chance of winning a game show (where you're up against probably 9 other parties), than it is to land a full time job (where you're up against 99 other people or more).

I had an interviewer once ask me if I drink beer because the whole office likes to go out every once in a while.
Don't remember how I answered that one.. but I didn't get the job.

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: It's sad when you have a better chance of winning a game show (where you're up against probably 9 other parties), than it is to land a full time job (where you're up against 99 other people or more).

That's how I think of it! Years ago, I wanted to get on the Price is Right. Showed up at 6:00 am in the morning and there were already 500 people in line. They chose about 30. I wasn't one of them.

^^ You should have said, "Only Molson, eh? All those other brands are for hosers."

Sorry, couldn't resist. =D

Hotdiggity in Ajax, Ontario said: I had an interviewer once ask me if I drink beer because the whole office likes to go out every once in a while.
Don't remember how I answered that one.. but I didn't get the job.

I'd LOVE to be asked that question. If carrying on a discussion about beer brands and mirco-breweries was a job requirement, I'd have the upper hand!

I was hesitant about answering because I wasn't sure what was behind the question.
Was he asking me if I had a drinking problem ?

I remember the company though.. it was Tandem Computers who are now owned by HP.

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: the words "ninja, wizard, black belt, guy/girl Friday, guru, customer experience enthusiast," or any other wording that tries to put lipstick on a pig of a job.

I know it's job ad and not interview, but I just saw a bunch of this on CL.

These types of words, any hype whatsoever, any exclamation points and ALL CAPS postings are indicative of a job ad being placed by a recruiter/agency.

Instant skip.

Hotdiggity in Ajax, Ontario said: I had an interviewer once ask me if I drink beer because the whole office likes to go out every once in a while.
Don't remember how I answered that one.. but I didn't get the job.

What a stupid mine field of a question, and a trick one at that.

Pretty much anything that's been said by interviewers in all of the interviews I've had in this gap has indicated I'm not getting the job, as I've continued to remain unemployed.

I guess the few things interviewers have said or asked that have stood out are:

1) Hey, what do you think of those Bears?

2) So you've just been collecting unemployment this whole time? (Um, no, I've never collected a single cent, thank you. But I didn't say it that way. :D).

3) The 10-minute interview. Duh. Thanks for wasting my time. And then I went across the street, bought a half-pound of chocolate and scarfed it down. Nice.

4) Any off topic small talk whatsoever after the close of the interview up to departure at the elevators.

Bluetea in Texas said: Heh! I heard it yesterday. I can be interesting once, maybe twice but I don't have enough material for a 3rd go round.

that's funny.

if i find out there are more than 3 interviews i usually will decline to interview. i don't have it in me neither to do the initial phone interview, then meet the manager, then the district mgr, than do a ride along with a sales rep, than a panel interview, oh i forgot the iq test before the phone inter.

lol - your right, not enough material

^ I keep hearing that some jobs actually expect you to do free work for them, to be considered. Either ideas on a project, or a design, or even a full day "see how it goes" of unpaid work, and even then they may not hire you. These are crazy times. Asking such should be 10 forms of illegal, yet I think many places are getting away with it.

They are just using people if they expect free labor. I temped once in a company that has an ongoing project and they just use temp after temp, and don't hire anyone full time, to avoid paying benefits. Companies want the world for free today. I wonder if they can be reported to the labor department, just like a former company of mine was for making you work 9 hour days so they can give you Christmas Eve off, well they had to pay the 1.5 rate for the extra hour a day and we still got that day off with pay, as they were caught after the holiday.

And the worst thing to hear is "We'll get back to you later today." If they're going to hire you, it takes more than a few hours to get all the approvals and do a background check. You will never hear back the same day unless you were eliminated before the interview even ended.

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois said: What a stupid mine field of a question, and a trick one at that.

At my last visit to a recruiter, he handed me a job description and asked me if I thought that it would be a good fit for me. The job description said that the most important criteria was that the new hire would have to fit in with the company culture. The company culture includes a pool table and beer parties on Fridays. Every paragraph in the job description contained at least one grammatical error or misspelled word!

Jeff in Aurora, Colorado said: Every paragraph in the job description contained at least one grammatical error or misspelled word!

and of course, you pointed this out to them right? lol!

Jeff in Aurora, Colorado said: And the worst thing to hear is "We'll get back to you later today." If they're going to hire you, it takes more than a few hours to get all the approvals and do a background check. You will never hear back the same day unless you were eliminated before the interview even ended.

Yeah, they were going to "get back to me today". Been sitting here by the phone for 12 hours and haven't heard a thing.

Course, I have filled out a few more apps. Never listen to the "we'll be in touch" line. Its a standard close.

Bluetea in Texas said: Yeah, they were going to "get back to me today". Been sitting here by the phone for 12 hours and haven't heard a thing.

Course, I have filled out a few more apps. Never listen to the "we'll be in touch" line. Its a standard close.

I heard back the same day. I was already back on the job search since I knew what they were going to say. It's usually when people don't give a deadline that I never hear from them. At least a few places have been honest: they told me if I didn't hear by such-and-such a date it would mean that I didn't get the job.

Two weeks later, I'm still waiting on the results of my interview. First one is with a recruiter, second one is supposed to be with the hiring manager. I've already been through this process once, with this company. I figure last time, I got a rejection email. So as I haven't gotten one yet, I'm still in the running.

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: the words "ninja, wizard, black belt, guy/girl Friday, guru, customer experience enthusiast," or any other wording that tries to put lipstick on a pig of a job.

I know it's job ad and not interview, but I just saw a bunch of this on CL.

My favorite is "programming rock star". Computer programming is a disciplined field that mainly requires sticking to formal procedures. Improvisation and cleverness are usually detrimental to quality. When I read that some company is looking for a "rock star", I conclude that they are a bunch of guys who think that they are a lot better than they really are and that they have a company that was founded because someone had a great idea for a marketable product but will go out of business as soon as the market is saturated with that product.

The best I heard was a HRtard say it must be nice being unemployed because you can go on vacation anywhere.

Someone should dress up as Gandalf the Grey and ask calmly, "the ad said you were looking for a wizard? I am the greatest one of my age." Too cocky. Next applicant please.

very funny, yeh I DARE either of ya to show up at interview dressed up as a rock star or wizard tho you'd most likely have to be prepared to deal with the men in white
I've also seen "we are looking for a real team player/cheerleader" so one could also dress up as football player or an actual cheerleader, don't "they" say if you want a job to dress the part?

i needed a laugh
they are doing massive tree cutting in this complex for the next 2 weeks at LEAST so MAJOR annoying noise
allready heard the beeping trucks (literally beeping) so gots to git dressed and git out, rest of week sposed to be rainy AGAIN I dunno if they still work, where I'll go, they do cut the grass here short of downpour.

My worst phone interview so far went like this: after a hello,tell me about your experience ... then the interviewer started annoyance:
1- We just started interviewing this week
2- We are looking more for a Senior Manager level, you are at a lower level
3- Interviewer read the job posting back to me and asked: are you sure this is what you are looking for?
4- How are your communication skills? seriously? we were on the phone
5- ... the "hiring manager" does not want anybody from the "financial industry ! come on .. My last 7 years of work have been in financial services industry, why did you even call me then
6- Do you have global experience? gee I worked for the two largest insurance company in the world. Is that global enough? or are we talking planets
7- What is your legal status? I hate this one, after this question I said US Citizen thanks for calling. Hanged up the phone in her face !!

You know you didn't get the job when they say "good luck" at the end.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: My worst phone interview so far went like this: after a hello,tell me about your experience ... then the interviewer started annoyance:
1- We just started interviewing this week
2- We are looking more for a Senior Manager level, you are at a lower level
3- Interviewer read the job posting back to me and asked: are you sure this is what you are looking for?
4- How are your communication skills? seriously? we were on the phone
5- ... the "hiring manager" does not want anybody from the "financial industry ! come on .. My last 7 years of work have been in financial services industry, why did you even call me then
6- Do you have global experience? gee I worked for the two largest insurance company in the world. Is that global enough? or are we talking planets
7- What is your legal status? I hate this one, after this question I said US Citizen thanks for calling. Hanged up the phone in her face !!

Yep. I have had 1, 2, and 4. Don't blame you for hanging up on them. It is getting beyond ridiculous.

Cookie in Clifton, New Jersey said: You know you didn't get the job when they say "good luck" at the end.

Yep, BAD sign. I once sent a thank you email and got a reply where the woman said good luck (I knew I was not getting hired).

sighing in southern, New Jersey said: Yep, BAD sign. I once sent a thank you email and got a reply where the woman said good luck (I knew I was not getting hired).

You probably thought that the Thank You would tip the odds in your favor?

I have been hired 3 times in the past 10 years and never once sent a Thank You card. I guess they preferred the ill-mannered ones today. LOL!

Bluetea in Texas said: You probably thought that the Thank You would tip the odds in your favor?

I have been hired 3 times in the past 10 years and never once sent a Thank You card. I guess they preferred the ill-mannered ones today. LOL!

Yeah, I did. But, not anymore. I figure, if they want me for the job, they will hire me, thank you or no thank you. I don't think they can hurt, unless an employer sees it as kissing up. But, I am so done with the thank yous. And NEVER again will I buy the fancy 24lb resume paper that costs $20 a box.

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: the words "ninja, wizard, black belt, guy/girl Friday, guru, customer experience enthusiast," or any other wording that tries to put lipstick on a pig of a job.

I know it's job ad and not interview, but I just saw a bunch of this on CL.

You're funny - and so right. I spend a bit of time e-mailing from an e-mail that's unidentifiable - and I ream them for their asinine ads. Sometimes I get super sarcastic and let 'em know what creeps they are.

Bluetea in Texas said: You probably thought that the Thank You would tip the odds in your favor?

I have been hired 3 times in the past 10 years and never once sent a Thank You card. I guess they preferred the ill-mannered ones today. LOL!

EXACTLY. If you're not who they want, sending them chocolates, a Starbucks' gift card or a thank you won't mean $@!%$@ to them.

sighing in southern, New Jersey said: Yeah, I did. But, not anymore. I figure, if they want me for the job, they will hire me, thank you or no thank you. I don't think they can hurt, unless an employer sees it as kissing up. But, I am so done with the thank yous. And NEVER again will I buy the fancy 24lb resume paper that costs $20 a box.

LOL! Save them for baby showers. That is where they belong.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 1- We just started interviewing this week

So? You have to start sometime. Your point, please?

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 2- We are looking more for a Senior Manager level, you are at a lower level

Great! My goal is Senior Management.3- Interviewer read the job posting back to me and asked: are you sure this is what you are looking for?Why should I be unsure? After all, I read the job posting. Then I applied for the job. For that reason, it should be clear to you that I am sure.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 4- How are your communication skills?

I understand your words but please clarify your concerns. I am a native English speaker, reader and writer.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 5- ... the "hiring manager" does not want anybody from the "financial industry....

Review of my resume shows I do not have "financial industry" experience. Did you review it prior to calling me?

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 6- Do you have global experience?

No...but I can convert my local time to GMT. I have placed long distance calls overseas. I collected stamps when I was a child. I learned more about geography from my stamp collection than I did in school. Will that suffice for you??

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 7- What is your legal status?

AFAIK I am "legal" and have "status." But I am not a status seeker. Otherwise, can you clarify your vague question?

Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the Account Director position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

ME: "REALLY?"

Tired of it in Lenexa, Kansas said: Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the Account Director position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

ME: "REALLY?"

Dont hold your breath. LOL!

Tired of it in Lenexa, Kansas said: "I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist......"

Nicely played. Good show!

And the other ... a former EVP of Sales at a former FORTUNE company we both worked for. I managed/led the team of marketing and sales support individuals who provided support to his entire sales org and enabled him in many ways to close $300M+ in new revenue in 2006. We've known each other since 2005, have crossed-paths since and keep connected on Linkedin. Recently, his new employer had two postings for sales executive positions reporting through him. I have 15yrs sales/mktg experience SO I reached out via phone/email after applying. Here is how my follow-up emails went down:

ME: Hi "Jon Doe" just dropping a line to let you know that I remain interested in sales opportunities at XYZ company. As you know ... I have a considerable amount of health care, technology and client development experience. Maybe we could meet for coffee next week to explore fit?"

EVP: "Jon Doe: Thanks for reaching out. Please send me your resume. I'd like to become more familiar with your sales experience. Thanks. Jon Doe"

ME: "Mr. EVP, my resume sounds great over coffee, and amazing over a few beers. Which one can we make happen? Let me know."

---------------------------------------
Now ... to some, I know that my response might have sounded rude and unprofessional. I disagree. I think he was disrespectful, rude and unprofessional. This person knows me on a personal level, but apparently doesn't respect me even after a very professional and productive prior working relationship. Furthermore, we are connected on Linkedin for hm to review if he wanted to. How would it feel if he called on a former client as a new prospect for a sales call and the former client just said to send a brochure? It would be one thing if a relationship didn't already exist, but when a relationship exists the respectful thing to do is at least allow a real live conversation.

I'm tired of being walked-on because I'm in transition driven by economic-circumstance out of my control.

That EVP clearly is not interested ... for whatever reason. ..seems he didn't even want to pretend to be cordial or professional based on your past working relationship. Let it go, move on.

I would just say that maybe he didn't read your message closely. Hence, his response. Only saying.

But he probably did read it closely and I love your response.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado said: So? You have to start sometime. Your point, please? Great! My goal is Senior Management. Why should I be unsure? After all, I read the job posting. Then I applied for the job. For that reason, it should be clear to you that I am sure. I understand your words but please clarify your concerns. I am a native English speaker, reader and writer. Review of my resume shows I do not have "financial industry" experience. Did you review it prior to calling me? No...but I can convert my local time to GMT. I have placed long distance calls overseas. I collected stamps when I was a child. I learned more about geography from my stamp collection than I did in school. Will that suffice for you?? AFAIK I am "legal" and have "status." But I am not a status seeker. Otherwise, can you clarify your vague question?

This person was plain rude,I kept myself as calm as I could but after the "legal status" question, I exploded and I could not take it anymore.

Tired of it in Lenexa, Kansas said: Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the Account Director position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

ME: "REALLY?"

From this day on, I have decided that the first annoying comment or question from a hiring manager whether phone interview or in person. I will just stop say: "Actually I have just lost my interest in your company/position and any further discussion between us will be irrelevant and a waste of time. Please excuse me.