Almost Suicidal and Age Discriminaton

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Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

I left a career in social work and worked part time and temp jobs while raising my fabulous kid who is now on a great scholarship and good school.

I got a master's degree in 08, and figured when she launched off to college I would launch my new career. Ha.

Hahahahahah.

So I packed up the house we had lived in that belonged to her father. I figured the rent would help with her expenses, and I left the lovely state of Texas for a nearby state that seemed to have better opportunities in my field.

It did not. And I am now applying for jobs that requires far less education than I borrowed tons of government money to get. But I'm seeing younger people who have far less work and life experience than I, not even acknowledge my resume and carefully crafted cover letter...because 50 is ancient? Really???????

Beth in Plano in Plano, Texas

24 months ago

Don't do something that would hurt your family.
You will find a good job.

What did you major in at college ?

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Thanks, Beth. I won't. I'm looking after my elderly parents! Better to hang in there than hang it up, I know. But I can certainly understand how the suicide rate among my age group is up!

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Don't give up looking for work. I am over 50 and cannot even get an interview. Part of the problem is the "Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC)." Businesses are given a tax break for hiring certain TARGET GROUPS. Take a look at the Texas Workforce Commission website.

Overview of WOTC: The main objective of this program is to enable individuals to become employed, earn a steady income and become contributing taxpayers. WOTC joins other workforce programs that help provide incentives for workplace diversity and improve access to good jobs for American workers.

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas said: Thanks, Beth. I won't. I'm looking after my elderly parents! Better to hang in there than hang it up, I know. But I can certainly understand how the suicide rate among my age group is up!

DO NOT make your main focus caring for your elderly parents. This is your last opportunity to support yourself before you end up on social security. Your top priority should be making a stable financial base for yourself, just as I am doing (I am now 55). Don't feel guilty.

Unhappilyunemployed in Pennsylvania

24 months ago

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas said: I left a career in social work and worked part time and temp jobs while raising my fabulous kid who is now on a great scholarship and good school.

I got a master's degree in 08, and figured when she launched off to college I would launch my new career. Ha.

Hahahahahah.

So I packed up the house we had lived in that belonged to her father. I figured the rent would help with her expenses, and I left the lovely state of Texas for a nearby state that seemed to have better opportunities in my field.

It did not. And I am now applying for jobs that requires far less education than I borrowed tons of government money to get. But I'm seeing younger people who have far less work and life experience than I, not even acknowledge my resume and carefully crafted cover letter...because 50 is ancient? Really???????

It's an awful feeling to think that being 50 should have any impact on being hired. Heck, it's not like alot of companies these days are offering health benefits and worry that an older person may have more medical expenses. I have all sorts of theories on why age discrimination exists. Why else do they need to know what year you graduated a high school on a freaking application?

BTW, I too am caring for two elderly parents. I agree with Mary. Make yourself a priority! It's the only way to stay sane.

Bluetea in Texas

24 months ago

Unhappilyunemployed in Pennsylvania said: It's an awful feeling to think that being 50 should have any impact on being hired. Heck, it's not like alot of companies these days are offering health benefits and worry that an older person may have more medical expenses. I have all sorts of theories on why age discrimination exists. Why else do they need to know what year you graduated a high school on a freaking application?

BTW, I too am caring for two elderly parents. I agree with Mary. Make yourself a priority! It's the only way to stay sane.

As long as employers act as 3rd party agents for health insurance, you will have age discrimination.

I have relatives in Europe and they just cannot understand how this works.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Well, I am glad I found these forums because I was feeling really alone in this. Since I didn't finish my BA until I was 30 that takes a few years off. But yes UU, sneaking around the age question with when you finished HS, just one of those little infuriating things. There are so many!

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Always remember you are never alone. I have been a long time lurker here at the forum and when I read your post I decided to start posting. Keep applying at HHS for a social work position. Don't ever give up.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Missy,

Thank you! I actually worked at HHS for one month in 2012, it was awful, awful, awful. It may have been the particular unit I was assigned to with a horrid supervisor. And then to watch people milking the system, really upsetting.

Calfornian in Hayward, California

24 months ago

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas said: But I'm seeing younger people who have far less work and life experience than I, not even acknowledge my resume and carefully crafted cover letter...because 50 is ancient? Really???????

Yeah, it's brutal. I'm in tech and if I see one more skinny 20-something kid in an interview......

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

And the attitude you get from them. I wrote some web content for a university as a temp job. I wrote my own HTML, but I had to give it to the gurus to publish. They have (some of them) an incredible sense of self importance and no one calls them on it.

Missy, we should meet for coffee sometime;) Maybe they'll have a job opening there. Ooops, only young barristas need apply!

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

That would be fun to meet and talk about what is going on here.
The famous coffee chain wants strong people who can lift 40 pounds.
That leaves me out. I don't do lifting at my age.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

I applied with them for a management position. Took the hour long personality test, and well, I guess my personality didn't measure up! I have been successful in retail management in years past.

I don't see a way to send private messages. We'll have to agree to a time and place publicly.As long as the list of serial killers don't find us, we should be okay.

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

I am over on the east side. I have gone to some meetup groups just to get out and socialize with people. There are a few small business groups that meet around town. I find it amazing how many people in my age group are trying to start their own businesses. I do not have any money so I cannot buy anything from them. Everyone usually exchanges business cards after the meetings and we all go our separate ways.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

You sound fairly close to me. And we really don't have a coffee shop in the neighborhood. There is a nice little ihop over in McCreless (I never can spell that). I'd be happy to buy you coffee and swap stories. Just let me know when!

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Is that the IHOP by the HEB off of S. New Braunfels? Let me know the day and time you want to meet over there, preferable morning between 9 - 11 am. Traffic is really bad in the afternoon in that area.

You don't have to buy my coffee I can splurge on a cup of tea.:)

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

How about 10 tomorrow morning?

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

I will be there at 10 tomorrow.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas said: Thanks, Beth. I won't. I'm looking after my elderly parents! Better to hang in there than hang it up, I know. But I can certainly understand how the suicide rate among my age group is up!

I am with you there. I am in my mid 40's been unemployed for over a year, have defaulted on my student loans and cannot find a job that pays a living wage. Unfortunately, I have zero family which means zero support (financial or emotional). Fortunately, I'm less than an hour from the Golden Gate bridge which I contemplate jumping off of regularly. Not now. Now I am on unemployment which at least maintains the roof over my head but once I can no longer pay my rent...

I'll just say that homelessness and homeless shelters are not an option. I'm trying to be positive in spite of the conditions of my life. I exercise like a fiend so that the endorphines serve as a natural antidepressant. I meditate and I try to visualize the ultimate job for me. But I'm starting to get really scared now because unemployment is winding down.

It sure would be nice if our Congress would acknowledge problems like ageism and the long-term unemployed and outsourcing and all the things that will continue to plague the job market until something is done about it.

Beth in Plano in Plano, Texas

24 months ago

Eliza,

What was your previous career field ?

I will pray for you that a door opens up.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Eliza,

There has to be something for you; don't jump. I am feeling much better due to some support I have found here and in counting my blessings.

I often wonder when I see people struggling in huge expensive major metropolitan areas, if relocating to a lower cost of living is an option?

I can't imagine NY or CA, Texas is expensive enough, but I look at going to the south Texas, border regions. And really, getting a weekly rate hotel, with a job secured, is a reasonable starting over point..

I'm in my fifties, so I see you as young! Give us a little more information about your experience and education so we can perhaps provide some ideas for you. You are not alone! There are plenty of us in the same boat!

Don't give up!

Unhappilyunemployed in Pennsylvania

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: I am with you there. I am in my mid 40's been unemployed for over a year, have defaulted on my student loans and cannot find a job that pays a living wage. Unfortunately, I have zero family which means zero support (financial or emotional). Fortunately, I'm less than an hour from the Golden Gate bridge which I contemplate jumping off of regularly. Not now. Now I am on unemployment which at least maintains the roof over my head but once I can no longer pay my rent...

I'll just say that homelessness and homeless shelters are not an option. I'm trying to be positive in spite of the conditions of my life. I exercise like a fiend so that the endorphines serve as a natural antidepressant. I meditate and I try to visualize the ultimate job for me. But I'm starting to get really scared now because unemployment is winding down.

It sure would be nice if our Congress would acknowledge problems like ageism and the long-term unemployed and outsourcing and all the things that will continue to plague the job market until something is done about it.

Eliza, "Almost Suicidal" is right. While we can't do anything to make the market better, we can talk to each other and even smile occasionally here. I DO know how you feel. I am even older than you and NEVER thought I would ever be unemployed for more than a few weeks. I was too good for that. This job market has become so impersonal and weak; it's no wonder you feel the way you do. But I can assure you without a doubt it is not your fault you are out of work. Coming here to the boards helps keep me sane. I think I would be where you are if I didn't come here. I finally learn to stop beating myself up for being unemployed. Just don't give up. Maybe you and I will have to start with a real part time-ish job. I don't know. But come hang out. Laugh, cry, and tell your story. It helps. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

Eliza, I have a few suggestions. Today life is about survival. You have no family - so move to some place cheat. You can buy a house for $5,000 in Ohio, more in Atlanta. Take every single dollar you can muster together - credit cards - and put it into your checking account. Hopefully, you can muster $5,000. Get on realtor.com or Hudhomevalue.com. Go buy a house, very cheap.

One third of a person's wages go towards housing. Buty one of those houses. Move in. Then apply for food stamps. Eighty percent of your problems are solved.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida said: Eliza, I have a few suggestions. Today life is about survival. You have no family - so move to some place cheat. You can buy a house for $5,000 in Ohio, more in Atlanta. Take every single dollar you can muster together - credit cards - and put it into your checking account. Hopefully, you can muster $5,000. Get on realtor.com or Hudhomevalue.com. Go buy a house, very cheap.

One third of a person's wages go towards housing. Buty one of those houses. Move in. Then apply for food stamps. Eighty percent of your problems are solved.

If you were trying to drive me closer to suicide, it worked.

I don't want to "just survive". I'd rather die than move to someplace like Ohio and go on food stamps. Even if i could afford 5k (which I do not have), i have immense student loan debt which i cannot get out of and which has ruined my credit. Even if I had a great paying job, i have no desire to buy a house.

I am single and i need to live to be happy. "Just surviving" by living in an unattractive state just because it's "dirt cheap" is not an option.

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

Well, Georgia or North Carolina, Florida. I am just giving you suggestions. Once you have a little hut that is paid for, a lot of stress disappears. You can have a home base.

Then maybe take a Teach English job in Asia for a couple years. That money is non taxable in the U.S.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida said: Well, Georgia or North Carolina, Florida. I am just giving you suggestions. Once you have a little hut that is paid for, a lot of stress disappears. You can have a home base.

Then maybe take a Teach English job in Asia for a couple years. That money is non taxable in the U.S.

Clearly, you missed the part about my student loans. I cannot buy a house. My credit is a mess as a result of defaulted student loans! Besides, I don't want to buy a house. I adamantly disagree with your assessment that owning a house would fix my problems. You must be a realtor. If I "own a hut", I have maintenance and repair fees associated with it. if the hut's roof leaks, I have to fix it. If there is a plumbing problem, I have to pay the plumber. If I own a property, I pay a little something called property taxes. I am one person, not 3 or 4. I do not need nor do I want a house. Renting works for me. I like renting. I'd just as soon pay rent, not mortgage and not deal with any of the headaches that come with owning a house.

I don't want to move. I don't want to rely on the government to eat. I don't want to "just survive". I want to work! I want a job that pays a living wage so I can afford to pay rent and to get my student loans out of default. While I would be open to moving, even outside of the US, it wouldn't be to Asia. I'd want to go to someplace like the UK or certain parts of Canada... in the US, I'd want to move to Oregon or Washington or New York/New Jersey, not any of the places you suggested. You do not know me, therefore it's probably not a good idea to suggest anything that would involve uprooting me from an environment that I consider home... it's really all I have.

I don't think there is anything wrong with committing suicide especially since I have no children. It is an option if things get worse.

Bluetea in Texas

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: "Just surviving" by living in an unattractive state just because it's "dirt cheap" is not an option.

My nephew is in law enforcement and he says this is not an option for many people. He investigates about a dozen suicides every month.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Bluetea in Texas said: My nephew is in law enforcement and he says this is not an option for many people. He investigates about a dozen suicides every month.

My nephew committed suicide (seriously...about four years ago).

I just read an article that suicide is up in middle aged people. Why? Well, the answer is at the top of this thread: Age discrimination. And so is my plight....

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

California is a beautiful state. I love it too. But being 55 now, I am also in survival. My house is in foreclosure. I got my inheritance early (yes, my inheritance), took money from my IRA, and I am buying a small house, paid for. Taxes about $400 a year. At least I will have a home. If the roof leaks, Biglots sells tarps. I am pretty good in the home repair. If necessary, I can get food stamps.

I agree, your home environment is your home. You talk about being homeless, but not thinking of a survival home. I also have student loans.

I wasted a lot of time on my Bachelor's and the teacher certification (English 6-12 & elementary). I do have a few things to fall back on for work - like subbing, tutoring, freelancing, telephone sex.

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

Also, those Teach English programs are one year, then you can apply for another year. That's about $20,000 tax free.

Calfornian in Hayward, California

24 months ago

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida said: Well, Georgia or North Carolina, Florida. I am just giving you suggestions. Once you have a little hut that is paid for, a lot of stress disappears. You can have a home base.

In California, Burlingame as much as anyplace in the state, that little hut will run $500K to $1M, if, there is even one available. Renting will be $1,500/mo for a dump, $2,000 and up for something decent. And Burlingame, I think, isn't the best city in the Bay Area but I don't know that part of the Bay Area very well.

I do agree, however, that trying to make a go of it, in the Bay Area, when under financial duress, and you don't work in tech, is a really, really rough go. I'm thinking of leaving but I'm tied in for 4 more months. I could move to Sacramento, find a normal tech job, and buy/rent for 1/2 of what I pay here.

Completely Broke and Broken in Cleveland, Ohio

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: If you were trying to drive me closer to suicide, it worked.

I don't want to "just survive". I'd rather die than move to someplace like Ohio and go on food stamps. Even if i could afford 5k (which I do not have), i have immense student loan debt which i cannot get out of and which has ruined my credit. Even if I had a great paying job, i have no desire to buy a house.

I am single and i need to live to be happy. "Just surviving" by living in an unattractive state just because it's "dirt cheap" is not an option.

I guess I'm the only one that likes Ohio.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Calfornian in Hayward, California said: In California, Burlingame as much as anyplace in the state, that little hut will run $500K to $1M, if, there is even one available. Renting will be $1,500/mo for a dump, $2,000 and up for something decent. And Burlingame, I think, isn't the best city in the Bay Area but I don't know that part of the Bay Area very well.

I do agree, however, that trying to make a go of it, in the Bay Area, when under financial duress, and you don't work in tech, is a really, really rough go. I'm thinking of leaving but I'm tied in for 4 more months. I could move to Sacramento, find a normal tech job, and buy/rent for 1/2 of what I pay here.

I don't live in Burlingame. I lived near Burlingame (was staying with a friend) when I created this account. I'm in a less expensive part of the bay area.

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Completely Broke and Broken in Cleveland, Ohio said: I guess I'm the only one that likes Ohio.

I'm picky. I don't like Justin Bieber either.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Live in nanny for a nice family?

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas said: Live in nanny for a nice family?

I would be open to it but I don't understand what nice family would want to hire a nanny with no nanny or parenting experience. If I were a parent, I wouldn't...

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: I would be open to it but I don't understand what nice family would want to hire a nanny with no nanny or parenting experience. If I were a parent, I wouldn't...

Aren't you glad you came on Indeed talking to us educated people?

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Okay, how about a live in housekeeper for an elderly person?

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California

24 months ago

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York said: Aren't you glad you came on Indeed talking to us educated people?
Not really. I came here to vent and I'm getting the most ridiculous advice.

AS for housecleaning: Uh, no. I have a degree from Columbia and owe a lot of money for that degree. I scrubbed floors when I was 16 for my mom's business (which took care of elderly people). I went to college to get away from that. I took care of my mom when she was dying. I did that for my mom because I loved her and she needed help. But I will not go back to that. I'd rather die.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

Okay, so when were you last employed? For how long? What was your position? And what is your degree?

I have a master's degree; I am routinely applying for jobs that require a HS diploma with "some college preferred."

Personally, I would rather clean houses than die. Off to deal with unemployment now, I'll be back later.

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: Not really. I came here to vent and I'm getting the most ridiculous advice.

Oh, you want good advice. Why then don't you take a trip to your local Dept of Labor office and see a Labor Rep?

Unhappilyunemployed in Pennsylvania

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: Not really. I came here to vent and I'm getting the most ridiculous advice.....

Eliza, I know what it is to have to put your dream of a decent and fair job on a back burner. You have every right to feel the rage and depression you feel after working so hard in school, only to find there is little out there. And the advice given here may sound lame, but it does come down to survival at some point before things turn around. My depression actually got better once I realized this economy was keeping me out of the job market, not my actions (or lack of). Please hang in there and just know the people here truly mean well.

Missy in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

ElizaDay - Where the Wild Roses Grow - :)

Always remember you are not alone. Today is not tomorrow.
Circumstances change. Maybe not as soon as you want but life changes each day.

I am over 50 and have been unemployed for a few years now. I have been able to get some temporary 1099 contract work but it only pays a few dollars, not a living wage.

I am glad you found this forum so you can vent about this awful unemployment we are all experiencing. I wish I lived near you so we could meet and have a chat over coffee.

I saw your post last night and I could find no words to comfort you. I have been thinking about you and lifting you up in prayer today.

I don't know anything about you but I do know that you are a worthy person. You are strong and powerful. You will survive this. Keep up the good fight.

You are doing the right things to chase away the dark cloud over you by exercising and staying positive.

Are there any meetups in your area that you could go and socialize with people? If you are spiritual, are there any places of worship close to you that you could attend? Some places of worship offer counseling, all you have to do is reach out and ask.

Is there any thing on your list of skills and abilities that you could do as a contract worker? Do you have a hobby that could generate some income?

I am posting the following numbers for you and anyone else who is in crisis and needs to talk to a counselor.

This forum will not allow phone numbers so please do a google search for suicide hotlines for 24 hour crisis help.

Almost Suicidal in San Antonio, Texas

24 months ago

My depression actually got better once I realized this economy was keeping me out of the job market, not my actions (or lack of). Please hang in there and just know the people here truly mean well.

Amen to that. Hanging out here has helped.

Unemployment has me on hold....

catfish503 in portland, Oregon

24 months ago

ElizaDay in Burlingame, California said: Not really. I came here to vent and I'm getting the most ridiculous advice.

Hi Eliza, It saddens me to hear your pain. I think people are giving you advice only because they care, they don't want to see you hurt. I have to say that the forums have helped me through my difficult unemployment time. I've been unemployed for over two years, my benefits ran out last September. These forums have given me comfort knowing I'm not alone. I don't know if this is any help and it might be old news to you, but on your student loans did you try deferment or forbearance? I've done it two different times on my school loans due to my situation(s) and it was a big help.

My prayers are with you and I hope you know that people here do care! =|

Beth in Plano in Plano, Texas

24 months ago

"I don't think there is anything wrong with committing suicide especially since I have no children. It is an option if things get worse."

Stop talking that crazy non sense, you will find a job.

How much are your student loans ?

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York

24 months ago

Beth in Plano in Plano, Texas said: "I don't think there is anything wrong with committing suicide especially since I have no children. It is an option if things get worse."

Stop talking that crazy non sense, you will find a job.

How much are your student loans ?

ElizaDay,

Beth is one of those edducated people I was talking about in an earlier post of mine. Very soon she will ask if you are married.

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

Well, Eliza, here's my story. I joined the ranks of a court reporter in 1981 (Registered Professional Reporter). Worked for ten years. Got a legal secretary job, worked my way up, doing strong litigation and paralegal work. I took the paralegal AA to get a paralegal position. I was being harassed by another female (two actually). One was the office administrator. She filed me. And she called every temp agency in a the three major areas, ran me down to nothing, to make sure I didn't get a job. (Several agencies told me what was going on). She called the director of the paralegal program and ran me down, hoping to get me kicked out of the program. I didn't get another legal job for over a year. And the one I got was in PI and way below my skill level.

cont

Mary inTampa in Jacksonville, Florida

24 months ago

I was just completing my Bachelor's (at age 45). I took the teacher certification course. Got certified in English 5-9, English 6-12 and Elementary. No teaching job. I did subbing for four years. I went to a career day (resume critique) at USF. Everyone there was over 40.

Walking out of there, my only thought was to get home, get out my steno machine, and start working towards independence. I hadn't touched that writer in twenty years.

I got home, changed my clothes, got a can of Coke, took a swig, went to my closed, got out my writer. I stared at it for a few minutes, spoke to it, wiped it down. I was going to change the ribbon (which I had my old ones), but I had to figure how to do that. Then I had to ink the spool. My ink was dry, so I heated up my ink bottle in hot water.

I started writing. It wasn't easy. I wrote from the newspaper, whatever freebie I could find on the Internet. I felt like a stroke victim learning how to redo everything.

I'm working now.

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