Unemployed and being looked down upon

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hannahlarsson in Boston, Massachusetts

31 months ago

Does anyone ever get the feeling that people look down on you because you're unemployed? My whole family has treated me like crap ever since I couldn't find a job. I'm currently living at home and if I say one thing to tick them off, they start talking about how I'm rotting in their house, doing nothing but being lazy all day. My dad even told me to think about joining the military.

They don't seem to realize that we're not happy that we're sitting at home all day? That we're trying really hard, applying for jobs, etc. Let alone the stress of hearing back from potential employers. I definitely feel a big difference in the way I'm treated around the house. Even my little sister treats me like dirt.

Does anyone else get the same feeling? Or have when you were once unemployed?

Thanks for hearing me out!

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Jury 14 in Hartford, Connecticut

31 months ago

Hannah Larsson in Boston, Massachusetts said: Does anyone ever get the feeling that people look down on you because you're unemployed? My whole family has treated me like crap ever since I couldn't find a job. I'm currently living at home and if I say one thing to tick them off, they start talking about how I'm rotting in their house, doing nothing but being lazy all day. My dad even told me to think about joining the military.

They don't seem to realize that we're not happy that we're sitting at home all day? That we're trying really hard, applying for jobs, etc. Let alone the stress of hearing back from potential employers. I definitely feel a big difference in the way I'm treated around the house. Even my little sister treats me like dirt.

Does anyone else get the same feeling? Or have when you were once unemployed?

Thanks for hearing me out!

Yep. Some people are insensitive, too, and will say stupid sh*t like, "Let's go out to party and have drinks tomorrow! Then we can hit up 18 restaurants, yay!" or "Omg, why don't you come visit me anymore?! So lonely :( :(" and you just wanna say, "I don't have a job. What don't you understand about that? Why don't you help me get one instead of running your mouth like a moron!?!?" Helped me realize who my real friends and family were, at least, during a real trying time.

And don't even get me started on them thinking that just because you're home all day it's a walk in the park and you should be able to get up at 8am and go to bed at 10pm! Ugh. Then you get the "... are you even applying? back in my day..." or "Depression is normal, but... you really should get up out of bed after 10am to work out." Just... all around dumb*ss advice that makes you want to kill yourself. You just want to tell them to shut up and leave you alone until you're working.

I get it. You aren't (weren't) alone! Hopefully you'll be out of it soon, too. :(

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Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas

31 months ago

I have heard it all. Refuse to engage in those conversations. Walk away from them. You owe no one an explanation. If someone says such things it shows they have no idea whats actually going on out there.

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KeepAHappyFace in State of Confusion

31 months ago

I've been on both sides of this situation, and can understand both sides of the conflict. After I graduated from college it took quite a while to find a real job and had to accept the humiliation of living with my parents for several months - and they were NOT easy to get along with.

First off, since you're living at home are you doing anything to contribute? I'd suggest reaching an agreement with your parents about taking care of certain chores to make their life easier while you're there, that should help reduce some of the tension. After all, you are living there for free (I assume) and your presence is costing them money.

Look into getting something, anything, through a temp agency. The work might suck and the pay will definitely suck but at least it's something (I've been there and done that also). That will at least keep you busy and bring in some money until you find a permanent job.

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Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada

31 months ago

Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas said: I have heard it all. Refuse to engage in those conversations. Walk away from them. You owe no one an explanation. If someone says such things it shows they have no idea whats actually going on out there.

You want to pass on Holidays, Birthdays and Family Reunions. Why make yourself more miserable than you already are?

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Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas

31 months ago

Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada said: You want to pass on Holidays, Birthdays and Family Reunions. Why make yourself more miserable than you already are?

I go, I simply am careful what I say....which is sad. I have canned responses to certain questions (they have really stopped asking at this point). It doesnt make me miserable any more, although it really hurt me at first. They dont understand. Its that simple. They havent been there. They may be some day and dont know, not that I wish it on anyone.

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Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan

31 months ago

I feel ya! My boyfriend of 8 yrs has treated me like scum since I've been unemployed, he accuses me of being lazy not looking for work, when in fact I do. I do all the housework and have been buying all the groceries since I've been unemployed and it's not enough. He's demanding I give him half of what the rent and bills are with money I don't have! My unemployment ended the end of Jan and Michigan is not giving extensions. My only way of surviving is not wasting gas, staying home, cooking mon-fri and depending on money I have saved up which will run out sooner then later then I'm totally screwed!! I've been suffering from deep depression ever since I lost my job in Sept. If someone I run into asks me where I work I make up a lie to save myself from sounding like a loser with no job. People keep saying a door will open but when?? Hell it's been 5 months which has felt like a lifetime! Heck it's almost half a year! It's just odd how in the past my boyfriend was laid off for 6 months and I was not mean or treat him bad, I stuck by him through his worst but he can't do the same for me?

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Debbie in Nottingham, Maryland

31 months ago

Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan said: I feel ya! My boyfriend of 8 yrs has treated me like scum since I've been unemployed, he accuses me of being lazy not looking for work, when in fact I do. I do all the housework and have been buying all the groceries since I've been unemployed and it's not enough. He's demanding I give him half of what the rent and bills are with money I don't have! My unemployment ended the end of Jan and Michigan is not giving extensions. My only way of surviving is not wasting gas, staying home, cooking mon-fri and depending on money I have saved up which will run out sooner then later then I'm totally screwed!! I've been suffering from deep depression ever since I lost my job in Sept. If someone I run into asks me where I work I make up a lie to save myself from sounding like a loser with no job. People keep saying a door will open but when?? Hell it's been 5 months which has felt like a lifetime! Heck it's almost half a year! It's just odd how in the past my boyfriend was laid off for 6 months and I was not mean or treat him bad, I stuck by him through his worst but he can't do the same for me?

If i were in your shoes i would reevaluate that relationship. I would move out and stay with a family member or friend and be done with him. You know What's worse than having no spouse at all? Having one that is critical and cant be counted on when the going gets tough. My mother always said you can do bad all by yourself! Good luck to you!

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Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan

31 months ago

Sadly I can't afford to move out, I don't want to be a burden to anyone else's lives, my mom has her own marriage issues so living with her is out if the question and my friends have families they have to focus on not seeing me on their couch....,,,,,,

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parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois

31 months ago

Only prospective employers looking at a gap on the resume. Nobody else.

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xboxer in Cactus, Arizona

31 months ago

Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan said: I feel ya! My boyfriend of 8 yrs has treated me like scum since I've been unemployed, he accuses me of being lazy not looking for work, when in fact I do. I do all the housework and have been buying all the groceries since I've been unemployed and it's not enough. He's demanding I give him half of what the rent and bills are with money I don't have! My unemployment ended the end of Jan and Michigan is not giving extensions. My only way of surviving is not wasting gas, staying home, cooking mon-fri and depending on money I have saved up which will run out sooner then later then I'm totally screwed!! I've been suffering from deep depression ever since I lost my job in Sept. If someone I run into asks me where I work I make up a lie to save myself from sounding like a loser with no job. People keep saying a door will open but when?? Hell it's been 5 months which has felt like a lifetime! Heck it's almost half a year! It's just odd how in the past my boyfriend was laid off for 6 months and I was not mean or treat him bad, I stuck by him through his worst but he can't do the same for me?it

You helped him when he needed it, but now, he plays a different thing with you. He pretends it's your fault, so he doesn't have to help you.

I would not live with someone like that.
What IS the advantage?
Just to have a boyfriend?

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Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan

31 months ago

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona said: You helped him when he needed it, but now, he plays a different thing with you. He pretends it's your fault, so he doesn't have to help you.

I would not live with someone like that.
What IS the advantage?
Just to have a boyfriend?


Your not in my situation, I can't just leave if I had a job I would consider it but living under this roof is the only thing I can do. My relationship is not my priority, finding a job is.......

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Jury 14 in Hartford, Connecticut

31 months ago

Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada said: You want to pass on Holidays, Birthdays and Family Reunions. Why make yourself more miserable than you already are?

Yep. And when you're unemployed, the last thing you want to hear is about x's promotion or how they plan on going to Greece for vacation or how many new clothes they bought. And when they turn to you, and ask "so, what have you been doing?" you stare at them. Surely, they know you've only been looking for jobs. Surely they know you've been trying to ration food and water. They must know you haven't been joyriding around town while hitting up the newest restaurant. You have no money. You can't. That's what you've been "up to".

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SFK in Fremont, California

31 months ago

You're not alone. If there's any time in which my parents look down upon me most, it's when I'm unemployed. To make things worse, I have friends who are working at Fortune 500 companies, are pursuing graduate degrees at top tier universities, travelling the world, getting married, or having children. They pester me daily about whether I'm getting interviews or feedback from employers. Each time I say that something didn't work out, they become super pessimistic. If I annoy or anger my parents with something trivial, like forgetting to take out the trash, it will turn into a lecture about how unsuccessful I am and how lazy I am sitting at home all day. I have no idea how taking out the trash and landing a job are related. When asked about where I work by others, I just give them the name of my last employer and try to change the subject. Being unemployed is nothing to be ashamed of, but I don't feel like explaining myself to people who are insensitive. Being open about it will actually make networking and getting help from friends and family easier. Unemployment is simply a test of patience and perseverance. With every hardship, there is ease. I hope that everyone here finds a stable job soon, as I know that bills don't pay themselves.

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Linda in Farmington, Michigan

31 months ago

Maybe you could have a 'sit down' with your family and let them know this is a stressful time for you, but you are putting forth a solid effort to find a new position. Let them know you will be on the computer from 10 - 2 each day and would prefer not to be bothered during this time period. You will (make up the schedule however you want, this is just an example) take time in the afternoon to make phone calls to follow up on job leads, etc.
In return (and in order to maintain 'structure'), let them know you will take on a series of specific chores around the house. Not too intense, since you need to be job searching.
I would make sure you are not watching movies, sleeping in, staying up late, etc. If they have the perception you are slacking, WHY do they have that perception? Also, how is your little sister treating you like dirt? Are you sure you're not just hypersensitive right now?
Try to keep things in perspective, but if you take control of the situation (you let them know what's going on), you may just see a change in attitude from them!

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Burt Lange in middletown, New York

31 months ago

Step 1:

We have to first admit that we're all losers and undesirable.

Step 2:

Listen to the employed, they know what their talking about.

Why not try ABC corp, I hear their hiring.

Isn't there some kind of free training you can get.

Let me take a look at your resume.

If you wanted to work you would.

There's a job fair next week.

One day the employed will be unemployed and they will see.

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Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas

31 months ago

Burt Lange in middletown, New York said: Step 1:

We have to first admit that we're all losers and undesirable.

Step 2:

Listen to the employed, they know what their talking about.

Why not try ABC corp, I hear their hiring.

Isn't there some kind of free training you can get.

Let me take a look at your resume.

If you wanted to work you would.

There's a job fair next week.

One day the employed will be unemployed and they will see.

"You could do fast food.....There are jobs, just nothing you want to do....I know you dont really want to work, but you have to do what you have to do!.....Get two part time jobs!"............All these are actual things said to me by people who know and love me and should know better. I was shocked and hurt at the times they said it, but now I realize they simply do not know what they are talking about. I am able to let it go (I dont listen to it..I will walk off if something like this comes up in a conversation).....They dont get it. And that is not my problem.

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Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas

31 months ago

Its really good to vent here LOL......"The ABC Net company is ALWAYS hiring!.........I am not too proud to flip burgers!........I would do anything I had to to get a job".........again, just walk off. Without an word. They dont get it.

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Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California

31 months ago

oh my GOD, do I hear you! All of you.
In the same situation as the OP...living with my parents & enduring their verbal/emotional abuse every day because they have no clue what it's like out there. I've even wished that both of them lose their jobs - not because I wish horrible things on them, but so they can finally see what it's like.

I have heard it all. "You're not trying, go apply at Starbucks, you're too picky, you have to look outside your field..." yada yada. It's all rubbish comments even if the person means well. That's a f*cked up way to "motivate" anyone.
My folks even try to make me their live-in slave "since I'm not doing anything all day." They want me to spend several hours a day cleaning their house. SEVERAL HOURS! PER DAY!!
Delusional nonsense.

Like others have suggested, you have to just try to tune it out. It's just verbal abuse from clueless ignoramuses who aren't worth your time. Just let it roll off your back if you can and surround yourself with people who are actually supportive & encouraging. If you can't find people like that, then surround yourself with great music and keep your eyes on the prize.

Keep at it. You're not alone and you WILL find a job. All of us will.
Money comes and goes - remember that unemployment is an extremely sh*tty phase in life. It's not permanent & it doesn't define you.

Cheers!

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Sea Pink in El Paso, Texas

31 months ago

Don't internalize their hurtful remarks, but do examine what is going on in your life: Are you depressed? What can you do to alleviate your depression? Can you possibly find some interesting volunteer work which will get you out of the house AND possibly provide a positive entry on your resume while unemployed, and even lead to a flattering letter of recommendation? Can you pitch in at home, even if you don't feel like it? But MOST OF ALL, do NOT internalize any meanness directed your way. But DO examine things that you might be doing that are not optimal for you or your family.

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Lecator86 in Hampton, Virginia

31 months ago

I completely understand, my ex wife pretty much divorced me bc I couldn't find work in Delaware but as soon as I moved to Virginia I was working in weeks. It's so easy to judge people when you're not going thru the same thing. I also hate the do anything statement, for us people with "real" bills(rent, car payment, insurance, phone, food, etc.) Waiting tables won't pay for all that crap. You gotta not give two f**** what people think and have faith. Best of luck to all of you, I pray we all come back and laugh at this when we're gainfully employed

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Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California

31 months ago

Lecator86 in Hampton, Virginia said: You gotta not give two f**** what people think and have faith. Best of luck to all of you, I pray we all come back and laugh at this when we're gainfully employed

Amen my brotha.

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Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York

31 months ago

Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada said: I worked on a demographic marketing program affectionately referred to as "The Losers". It was a multi-generational list consisting of 3 or more adults with the same last name, living at the same physical address. It numbered in the MILLIONS!

It seems like the average age when kids leave home today is 42. LOL!

No kidding! That's good to know. I really appreciate those stats. I'll try to relay that in a way that doesn't depress my kids, lol.

My son, after graduating with an Associates, works 6 days a week and volunteers on the seventh. He feels bad about not being able to move out. My daughter, who has avoided all college debt by my money, her big scholarship and by working seven days a week, would not be on her own without the help of all the other struggling college kids packing themselves into apartments!

She may need to move back home, unless we can find scholarships for her masters in education.

I love to have them back. But, I know they feel embarassed by their shortfalls.

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Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York

31 months ago

Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada said: We have a few 30 year old toddlers living on my block too. The parents don't look too happy. Heh!

I love my kids. We raised excellent, thoughtful, generous, intelligent ( award/scholarship winning), hard working kids.

They can't snag employment that pays enough to live on their own. I'm gathering that this is the norm for young people.

I wish other parents would be grateful and embrace the extra, unexpected time.

Every time I hear about a bitchy parents dealing with a kid that can't land the job that will miraculously propel them into middle class life, I secretly hope the parent loses their cushy job, forcing them to find survival in the present day work world.

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Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California

31 months ago

Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York said: Every time I hear about a bitchy parents dealing with a kid that can't land the job that will miraculously propel them into middle class life, I secretly hope the parent loses their cushy job, forcing them to find survival in the present day work world.

This goes through my mind daily.
The first thing I hear when I wake up is my parents trash talking me behind my back. It is often the last thing I hear before I go to bed as well. Because I'm a failure who can't find work, I'm a leech, a horrible person and I suck at life. The way they demonize me turns my stomach. I mean it's baffling how much 2 people can loathe what they created together. There is no end to their hatred or their negativity. I try my best not to be that way.
But I often wish that they both lose their jobs once I'm on my feet again. They wouldn't last 10 seconds and would eventually come crawling to me for help. But would I help them?
Their mentality is "you're an adult so if you can't help yourself then f*** you!"
Could I be inhumane enough to throw that philosophy back at them if the roles were reversed? I just don't know.

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leeann66 in Ontario

31 months ago

Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California said: This goes through my mind daily.
The first thing I hear when I wake up is my parents trash talking me behind my back. It is often the last thing I hear before I go to bed as well. Because I'm a failure who can't find work, I'm a leech, a horrible person and I suck at life. The way they demonize me turns my stomach. I mean it's baffling how much 2 people can loathe what they created together. There is no end to their hatred or their negativity. I try my best not to be that way.
But I often wish that they both lose their jobs once I'm on my feet again. They wouldn't last 10 seconds and would eventually come crawling to me for help. But would I help them?
Their mentality is "you're an adult so if you can't help yourself then f*** you!"
Could I be inhumane enough to throw that philosophy back at them if the roles were reversed? I just don't know.

I think it's pretty natural for you to have thoughts like this. Your angry that your parent's have absolutely no empathy for you. You just want them to FEEL what it's like to be unemployed and judged. Let's face it, until someone walks in our shoes, they have no clue what it's like not to have a decent, liveable wage. I don't know if there is anything you can say to them to change their views. There are still lot's of people who have not had to look for a job in this market. Maybe they have been at their jobs for the last 10+ years. If they lost their jobs today, they would be faced with the same challenges and obstacles we are going through. For now, you have a roof over your head.

It sucks having no support when you need it the most. Try to just FILTER out what they are saying and consider the source for now.

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Ruby Slippers in Las Vegas, Nevada

31 months ago

Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York said: I love my kids. We raised excellent, thoughtful, generous, intelligent ( award/scholarship winning), hard working kids.

They can't snag employment that pays enough to live on their own. I'm gathering that this is the norm for young people.

I wish other parents would be grateful and embrace the extra, unexpected time.

Every time I hear about a bitchy parents dealing with a kid that can't land the job that will miraculously propel them into middle class life, I secretly hope the parent loses their cushy job, forcing them to find survival in the present day work world.

My cousin's parents embraced her. She is 64 and still lives in the same house that she was born in. We can't use the economy as an excuse. We have quite a few old maids in the family.

My sister's oldest is 28 and still lives at home. Oh he has a good job but with her cooking dinner and doing his laundry, there is no reason for him to leave. My sister says, "Its the family curse". LOL!

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xboxer in Cactus, Arizona

31 months ago

People still believe if you work hard and are honest, the world will reward you.

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EconGuy in Lawndale, North Carolina

31 months ago

Hey xbox, aren't you ranting about the same thing you said I was off on in the other thread? I think you were agreeing with what I said about 'everyone wants salesmen' though..

The people who don't want you working where they do will be the first ones to criticize you for being unemployed.. You get on welfare you might as well of shot a preacher but if you don't you die..

Like I've said in one of my threads. I feel blessed even for the little money I make off IT freelancing.. If I was dependent on people and labor I'd be pretty bad off..

SUMMARY: We live in a backwards superficial world, but the people with stuff have you right where they want you..

In my teens and twenties I worked in plants and on constructions site. I can't even get those jobs now even though I'm capable..

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Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California

31 months ago

Leeann66 in Ontario said: I think it's pretty natural for you to have thoughts like this. Your angry that your parent's have absolutely no empathy for you. You just want them to FEEL what it's like to be unemployed and judged. Let's face it, until someone walks in our shoes, they have no clue what it's like not to have a decent, liveable wage. I don't know if there is anything you can say to them to change their views. There are still lot's of people who have not had to look for a job in this market. Maybe they have been at their jobs for the last 10+ years. If they lost their jobs today, they would be faced with the same challenges and obstacles we are going through. For now, you have a roof over your head.

It sucks having no support when you need it the most. Try to just FILTER out what they are saying and consider the source for now.

That's the thing. My mother has only had her job for 5 years. She and I were laid off years ago on the exact same day and it took us both over a year to find work again (recession). She should know how difficult it is and be more sympathetic but that's not the case. She's either forgotten or buys into the bs about the economy getting "better."
I totally hear what you're saying though, and I try to just let their constant negative commentary roll off. They have no idea what I've been going through, or how much worse they're making it, and they don't care. But they are who they are...it's not my fault and I can't change their minds, you're right.

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Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California

31 months ago

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona said: People still believe if you work hard and are honest, the world will reward you.

This. Exactly.
And if the world isn't rewarding you, it's because you're not working hard enough.
Ugh. -_-

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Stare into the abyss and the abyss stare in Texas

31 months ago

Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York said: No kidding! That's good to know. I really appreciate those stats. I'll try to relay that in a way that doesn't depress my kids, lol.

My son, after graduating with an Associates, works 6 days a week and volunteers on the seventh. He feels bad about not being able to move out. My daughter, who has avoided all college debt by my money, her big scholarship and by working seven days a week, would not be on her own without the help of all the other struggling college kids packing themselves into apartments!

She may need to move back home, unless we can find scholarships for her masters in education.

I love to have them back. But, I know they feel embarassed by their shortfalls.

I can sympathize with your kids. I'm in my early 40's and was doing well up until 4+ years ago. In the last 4+ years I've sold almost everything i don't need, have had to liquidate my investments, moved in with my parents, been underemployed but mostly unemployed... My wife has a Masters in HR and I have an MBA. We also have 2 young kids. We have had a lot of support from my parents and my in-laws but I know we are the exception. This economy stinks. Not sure how the media is able to pull the wool over everyone's eyes but they are doing a darn good job of it. Can't wait to see what happens once the wool is pulled back.

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Jury 14 in Hartford, Connecticut

31 months ago

Stare into the abyss and the abyss stare in Texas said: I can sympathize with your kids. I'm in my early 40's and was doing well up until 4+ years ago. In the last 4+ years I've sold almost everything i don't need, have had to liquidate my investments, moved in with my parents, been underemployed but mostly unemployed... My wife has a Masters in HR and I have an MBA. We also have 2 young kids. We have had a lot of support from my parents and my in-laws but I know we are the exception. This economy stinks. Not sure how the media is able to pull the wool over everyone's eyes but they are doing a darn good job of it. Can't wait to see what happens once the wool is pulled back.

There is something called "emerging adolescents" that older folks really should look up. It's a newish theory that's growing because of the economic situation many young people are finding themselves in, much like the term "teen" was developed.. I studied it in school. People need to understand this is a real thing and that people ARE leaving their parents' homes later than before. Try late 20's, early 30's. They did studies on it and more than half (when they did the study) of adult aged 20-26 lived with their parents, which obviously has a whole slew of consequences and benefits. It's a new norm. It's not odd or strange and those who insist it is aren't really educating themselves on the financial hardships that exist and which groups are experiencing it.

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Helps2BLucky in Albany, New York

31 months ago

Hannah, maybe you need to send your parents a link to this thread!

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realism37 in Georgia

21 months ago

Kate_outta_kontrol in deep in the heart of, Texas said: I have heard it all. Refuse to engage in those conversations. Walk away from them. You owe no one an explanation. If someone says such things it shows they have no idea whats actually going on out there.

Exactly and I agree!

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realism37 in Georgia

21 months ago

Linda in Farmington, Michigan said:
I would make sure you are not watching movies, sleeping in, staying up late, etc. If they have the perception you are slacking, WHY do they have that perception? Also, how is your little sister treating you like dirt? Are you sure you're not just hypersensitive right now?
Try to keep things in perspective, but if you take control of the situation (you let them know what's going on), you may just see a change in attitude from them!

Just as an FYI: Many people are just jerks. They don't need a perception or reason to criticize you. It is no secret that the unemployed are often treated less than fairly and are often put down.

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realism37 in Georgia

20 months ago

It's a new year. Is anyone else still getting mistreated and put down? I avoided the jerks for the most part during the holidays. But ran into a few while running errands. "You found a job yet" is the very first question followed up with no offer of help or solid verifiable job leads. I think from now on I am going to just be as rude to them as they are me and pretend I don't see them. Just go about my business and don't respond to them calling out my name in public. Heck if you can dish it out you should be able to take it.

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Summer92 in South, Georgia

20 months ago

Sick Of It All in La Mesa, California said: This goes through my mind daily.
The first thing I hear when I wake up is my parents trash talking me behind my back. It is often the last thing I hear before I go to bed as well. Because I'm a failure who can't find work, I'm a leech, a horrible person and I suck at life. The way they demonize me turns my stomach. I mean it's baffling how much 2 people can loathe what they created together. There is no end to their hatred or their negativity. I try my best not to be that way.

Your parents are of no help to you. Instead they are being gossipy and negative. Gossiping about you behind your back and trash talking you is not helping the situation. I strongly believe that negative adds more negative. People such as your parents need some tough love. I don't buy into this notion that just because someone is your parent that they can talk to you any kind way. There is also this unspoken notion that just because one lives at home with parents that they can mistreat you and trash you. But I don't buy that either. Anyone who would support this type of behavior or even cause this type of behavior needs a good azz whoopin. I am just saying.......

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Browser for a Sec in No Man's Land

20 months ago

Summer92 in South, Georgia said: Your parents are of no help to you. Instead they are being gossipy and negative. Gossiping about you behind your back and trash talking you is not helping the situation. I strongly believe that negative adds more negative. People such as your parents need some tough love. I don't buy into this notion that just because someone is your parent that they can talk to you any kind way. There is also this unspoken notion that just because one lives at home with parents that they can mistreat you and trash you. But I don't buy that either. Anyone who would support this type of behavior or even cause this type of behavior needs a good azz whoopin. I am just saying.......

Such parents change attitudes when child "can" leave them. Often goes from vitriol to praise and "we never get to see you anymore."

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Summer92 in South, Georgia

20 months ago

Browser for a Sec in No Man's Land said: Such parents change attitudes when child "can" leave them. Often goes from vitriol to praise and "we never get to see you anymore."

Well if that is the case then if I were that child, I would save up when I got a job and move out as soon as possible. I would make sure to stay away from those poor excuse of human beings. Parents or not I would do everything in my power to never go back to their toxicity.

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marquiscrumpton in Scottsdale, Arizona

20 months ago

Summer92 in South, Georgia said: Your parents are of no help to you. Instead they are being gossipy and negative. Gossiping about you behind your back and trash talking you is not helping the situation. I strongly believe that negative adds more negative. People such as your parents need some tough love. I don't buy into this notion that just because someone is your parent that they can talk to you any kind way. There is also this unspoken notion that just because one lives at home with parents that they can mistreat you and trash you. But I don't buy that either. Anyone who would support this type of behavior or even cause this type of behavior needs a good azz whoopin. I am just saying.......

Thank you I totally agree!

I still get mistreated poorly even though I am part time and before I got a job, I got told all kinds of negative crap as if it is my fault. I say the same thing stop running your mouths and show some action if you care about me getting ahead! The more gossip like omg, like the saying goes talk is cheap yet don't see any of these people lifting a finger.

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Browser for a Sec in No Man's Land

20 months ago

Summer92 in South, Georgia said: Well if that is the case then if I were that child, I would save up when I got a job and move out as soon as possible. I would make sure to stay away from those poor excuse of human beings. Parents or not I would do everything in my power to never go back to their toxicity.

Agree. Best thing is independence & building lasting relationships w/others who are supportive bc even if doing well in life, no man is an island.

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Caramel19

19 months ago

You can move out IF you want to. People like you have all kinds of excuses about why they can't do things in this world! If you absolutely can't find a job anywhere, you can go back to school and invest in a career and get money that way! You have an option; it just sounds like you're afraid to take it because you want to be with this "boyfriend," who sounds like a real jerk, btw. I'm not fooled by what you are saying because if you really want to leave that situation you can. Trust me you can do all bad by yourself!!!

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Caramel19

19 months ago

Shelley in Bridgman, Michigan said: I feel ya! My boyfriend of 8 yrs has treated me like scum since I've been unemployed, he accuses me of being lazy not looking for work, when in fact I do. I do all the housework and have been buying all the groceries since I've been unemployed and it's not enough. He's demanding I give him half of what the rent and bills are with money I don't have! My unemployment ended the end of Jan and Michigan is not giving extensions. My only way of surviving is not wasting gas, staying home, cooking mon-fri and depending on money I have saved up which will run out sooner then later then I'm totally screwed!! I've been suffering from deep depression ever since I lost my job in Sept. If someone I run into asks me where I work I make up a lie to save myself from sounding like a loser with no job. People keep saying a door will open but when?? Hell it's been 5 months which has felt like a lifetime! Heck it's almost half a year! It's just odd how in the past my boyfriend was laid off for 6 months and I was not mean or treat him bad, I stuck by him through his worst but he can't do the same for me?

You can move out IF you want to. People like you have all kinds of excuses about why they can't do things in this world! If you absolutely can't find a job anywhere, you can go back to school and invest in a career and get money that way! You have an option; it just sounds like you're afraid to take it because you want to be with this "boyfriend," who sounds like a real jerk, btw. I'm not fooled by what you are saying because if you really want to leave that situation you can. Trust me you can do all bad by yourself!!!

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Summer92 in South, Georgia

19 months ago

Caramel19 said: You can move out IF you want to. People like you have all kinds of excuses about why they can't do things in this world! If you absolutely can't find a job anywhere, you can go back to school and invest in a career and get money that way! You have an option; it just sounds like you're afraid to take it because you want to be with this "boyfriend," who sounds like a real jerk, btw. I'm not fooled by what you are saying because if you really want to leave that situation you can. Trust me you can do all bad by yourself!!!

Agreed. Especially the part about the boyfriend. I would never put up with such a jerk.

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EconGuy

19 months ago

These stories are impossible.. It's illegal to not hire someone because of conflicts with social constructs or social regulations, and since unemployment is ONLY 4% all you have to do is go pick a job and start receiving currency..

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Browser for a Sec in No Man's Land

19 months ago

Summer92 in South, Georgia said: Agreed. Especially the part about the boyfriend. I would never put up with such a jerk.

Boyfriend sounds like one of those "MGTOW" men... so afraid of getting "taken" by females.

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realism37 in Georgia

19 months ago

Browser for a Sec in No Man's Land said: Such parents change attitudes when child "can" leave them. Often goes from vitriol to praise and "we never get to see you anymore."

Yeah often times the child moves out and no longer visits his or her parents because of the way they treated him or her. I see it all the time. Behavior on the parents part described in this thread is unacceptable.

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EconGuy

19 months ago

realism37 in Georgia said: Yeah often times the child moves out and no longer visits his or her parents because of the way they treated him or her. I see it all the time. Behavior on the parents part described in this thread is unacceptable.

If they are able. I doubt all adults living with their parents have decent parents. How would we get killers if that was the case?

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Summer92 in South, Georgia

18 months ago

EconGuy said: If they are able. I doubt all adults living with their parents have decent parents. How would we get killers if that was the case?

I see this on true crime shows all the time. Adult children or sometimes teenagers murdering one or both of their parents for mistreatment and abuse. In the case of being unemployed it does not help one iota when people are on your case all the time and demeaning you. It says an awful lot about such folks.

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