I hate my job & want to quit.

Comments (36)

KingsleyAmis in Merrick, New York

31 months ago

DISCLAIMER: I know what everyone’s response to this will be, because it’s the thought that comes to mind when I myself ponder this quandry. “Quit your job only after you’ve gotten another job offer.” It’s the most sensible advice I can get. So maybe this is more of a rant than a serious question. All I know is that I feel utterly helpless and totally run ragged.

Long story short, a job that started off as a temporary position has become permanent. It started off pretty well, but has become increasingly stressful.

For the sake of discretion I can’t go into details, but the main problem is the work environment. The work itself is high pressure, but again doable if approached the right way. Unfortunately this firm has an incredible degree of drama, intrigue, petty politicking and incompetence. You may be tempted to write off my description as the whining of a naive kid unaccustomed to corporate life, and you may be right. All I can offer for my defense are the comments of my co-workers, all of whom have spent 20-30+ years working for major corporations. They affirm my bewilderment at how shoddily & unprofessionally this place is run.

The upshot is that I’m going nuts. For the last month I’ve had trouble sleeping 2-3 days a workweek. I’m typing this in a coffee-fueled haze, having had a grand total of 2 hours of sleep. I have constant headaches and feel emotionally drained.

So I need to find another job. I don't say this lightly. I know jobs are hard to come by in this economy. What should I do? How do I job hunt and continue working? I have student loans to pay so just leaving is definitely not an option. Should I consult a recruiting firm? How do I prepare for something like that? Should I contact the temp agency that originally placed me, or is that a no-no?

Any help, insight and constructive criticism is very welcome.

Stillsmiling in Saint Marys, Georgia

31 months ago

I understand your pain of working at a job you hate regardless if it is the environment, the work or your co-workers. I remember a job like that. I lived for my days off; I would count down the days until my next day off to get away from the place.

Hang in there!! Don't quit but look hard for that new job.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado

31 months ago

@KingsleyAmis:

By any chance is your job in the legal industry? Because you've described aspects of working in that industry I have experienced, especially the emotionally draining and stress aspects.

Your disclaimer notwithstanding, in this economy full time jobs are rare and scarce. Therefore, you need to hold on to this job for as long as possible. You need to do so because you need the income and you need to preserve your unemployment benefits. If you quit unilaterally you endanger your benefits.

You need to shut out the noise, maintain a low profile and do your job well. In the meantime, you can jobhunt. Do NOT call the agency that placed you; it may rat you out. Absolutely do NOT call another agency; without question it will check up on you. If you sense an opening is through an agency, do NOT apply for that job for the same reason.

KingsleyAmis in Austin, Texas

31 months ago

I do work in the legal profession, though not as a lawyer. I would like to thank everyone for their input. I think the lack of formal managerial education is responsible for the horror stories I've heard from other people who work in legal practices.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado

31 months ago

KingsleyAmis in Austin, Texas said: I do work in the legal profession, though not as a lawyer.
Thought so. If I may ask, paralegal? Legal assistant? Legal secretary? Do tell. Trust me, when I say I know your situation all too well because I've lived it.

You can apply directly to individual firms simply by finding out which person entertains resumes and mailing yours to that person. As I wrote, above, and I'll repeat a little more directly, do not screw with third-party legal recruiters. They will screw you.

You are correct about lack of formal managerial education being responsible in large part for poorly run law firms. IMO it's more an issue of attorneys and their often unreasonable, demanding natures and frequent lack of people skills in dealing with their legal assistants.

Californian in San Leandro, California

31 months ago

Here's the other problem. When you are suffering from frustration, the heavy duty kind where you don't sleep, it gets harder to look for work. The frustration seeps over and it makes it harder and harder to take positive action. And when you do, and a potential employer asks "why are you looking for a new job" you may get "BECAUSE THESE A...... F... Donkeys!!!!!"

So, my suggestions are as follows:

1) Look for a new job, immediately. Don't hesitate, don't put it off. Now, right this second. Make it a point to start sending out resumes every day.

2) Make up a good story about why you are leaving that has nothing to do with Donkeys.

3) The others have said it correctly about gaps.

4) Find a way to not take it seriously, if you possibly can. The survivors that I've seen in the lands of the crazy work environments all were able to disconnect themselves from it. Make it your job to get a new job and maybe it will help you in your current job.

However, if you've hit a point where you are struggling to even find the motivation to look for a new job and you are carrying it with you everywhere you go it might be worth considering the great leap.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado

31 months ago

Californian in San Leandro, California said: 2) Make up a good story about why you are leaving that has nothing to do with Donkeys.
That's easy. She wants to better herself. No employer will fault anyone for wanting to better him/herself.

KingsleyAmis in Merrick, New York

31 months ago

I would like to reiterate my thanks to everyone here. Your words of encourage make my work endurable. Today wasn't too bad, thankfully, though some days almost crush into fine powder.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado said: Thought so. If I may ask, paralegal? Legal assistant? Legal secretary? Do tell. Trust me, when I say I know your situation all too well because I've lived it.

I'm not a paralegal or a legal assistant. I guess my job would be akin to being a clerk or secretary. I do research and help my colleagues (who are very kind and understanding, unlike upper management) communicate with our clients. I should mention that I'm quite young and this is my first real job.

I'm eager to hear about your (and other's) experiences working in Law Firms. What I hate the most is the expectation that I and my co-workers should skip lunch or not take vacation days if we really want to demonstrate our commitment as workers. This is never explicitly said, but the fact that meetings are constantly scheduled during the two hours when we we're supposed to take our breaks says something. It's like there is no extra mile here - the extra mile is the mile.

Why the warning about legal temporary agencies? The place that placed me wasn't a legal temp firm exactly, more of a general temp agency.

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York

31 months ago

I wish you all the best. This is a small obstacle in the road toward your future success.

When you do get a lot better job and you feel confident you will have it awhile...go back to these scumb@gs and eloquently tell them off. That's the New York way of doing things.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado

31 months ago

KingsleyAmis in Merrick, New York said: Why the warning about legal temporary agencies? The place that placed me wasn't a legal temp firm exactly, more of a general temp agency.
My experience is legal headhunters are rude, lie and renege on promises.

You don't need them, anyway. Just apply directly to firms per my suggestions, above.

KingsleyAmis in Merrick, New York

31 months ago

It's enough to make me never work in the legal field again. Thank you for advice and for sharing your experiences. In my next job hunt I''ll be steering clear of law practices.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado

31 months ago

Law is a tough biz. When asked, I suggest staying away from it.

You write well. Maybe you might like a job that can harness that skill. Good luck with however you proceed.

Investor Guy in San Francisco, California

31 months ago

I would only quit a job with no new job in the most dire circumstances. You never know how long you will be without a job and if you run out of time and money you may be forced to take an even worse job to survive. I have suffered terrible jobs for the better part of my life but the circumstances would have to be quite extreme before I'd willingly re-enter the unemployment market. You are facing prospective employers from a position of significant weakness if you are not presently employed. Just apply for new jobs all you can while keeping your present one.

Joe Gagill in Ellenville, New York

31 months ago

Investor Guy in San Francisco, California said: I would only quit a job with no new job in the most dire circumstances. You never know how long you will be without a job and if you run out of time and money you may be forced to take an even worse job to survive. I have suffered terrible jobs for the better part of my life but the circumstances would have to be quite extreme before I'd willingly re-enter the unemployment market. You are facing prospective employers from a position of significant weakness if you are not presently employed. Just apply for new jobs all you can while keeping your present one.

Hope the new job is going as well as can be for you Investor Guy. I miss your informative writings.

Bernardette in New York

31 months ago

I know how you feel, I did that not long ago I left a very stressful job it was making me physically and emotionally sick I was lucky enough to find a job within weeks but the market is hard if you feel confident you will find another job at least in the next 3 months go ahead quit no job is worth your sanity. One word of advice if you have held more than a couple of jobs in the last 3 years make sure then hold on to what you have until you get something else companies don't like people that go job hopping .

mergeron in Johnson City, Tennessee

28 months ago

I know how you feel but, now try being part of a company for nearly 5 years, getting up between the hours of 2:30am-3:30am to be there by anywhere near 3:45am-5am and not even making $9/hr. It's to the point when I am on my way in I hope I get T-boned just so I don't have to go in. Now I have been job hunting everyday for the past 3 months and haven't even gotten an interview. I've even paid a place to send my resume to companies and still nothing and I have family just quit without having something lined up. I have excellent credentials and if I didn't know any better I would think that my boss would be slandering me so I won't get a new job but how do you prove that.

jenab in Austin, Texas

28 months ago

Set aside time every day to organize and work on your job search, even if it's just a half hour at a time. Do not set aside more than a few hours at a time; it's too easy to get overwhelmed, and you're stressed enough as it is.

Chunk up the tasks - Instead of "revise resume" list "revise Job 1" so it's easier to complete each task in one sitting.

Collect the details on past jobs - make sure that's documented in one place, to make it easier to fill out applications.

Change LinkedIn settings to hide updates (if you use it). This will keep your search covert.

Don't contact the staffing agency - unless you're sure the personal relationships between their staff and your employer won't cause you problems. Same with any recruiters.

Start browsing the listings on sites like Indeed to get a feel of what's open, that might match your skillset. Consider options for both ideal and acceptable positions.

While I don't endorse the company, do a search on "12 Days of Kforce" to see a practical, chunked up guide to job search -- only make sure you remember to keep in mind your search should probably remain covert.

All that said; good luck, I hope you can find something quickly. I know how stressful being trapped in a toxic job can be, regardless of the specifics. Take care of yourself, OK?

bob in Stockport, United Kingdom

26 months ago

KingsleyAmis in Merrick, New York said: DISCLAIMER: I know what everyone’s response to this will be, because it’s the thought that comes to mind when I myself ponder this quandry. “Quit your job only after you’ve gotten another job offer.” It’s the most sensible advice I can get. So maybe this is more of a rant than a serious question. All I know is that I feel utterly helpless and totally run ragged.

Long story short, a job that started off as a temporary position has become permanent. It started off pretty well, but has become increasingly stressful.

For the sake of discretion I can’t go into details, but the main problem is the work environment. The work itself is high pressure, but again doable if approached the right way. Unfortunately this firm has an incredible degree of drama, intrigue, petty politicking and incompetence. You may be tempted to write off my description as the whining of a naive kid unaccustomed to corporate life, and you may be right. All I can offer for my defense are the comments of my co-workers, all of whom have spent 20-30+ years working for major corporations. They affirm my bewilderment at how shoddily & unprofessionally this place is run.

The upshot is that I’m going nuts. For the last month I’ve had trouble sleeping 2-3 days a workweek. I’m typing this in a coffee-fueled haze, having had a grand total of 2 hours of sleep. I have constant headaches and feel emotionally drained.

So I need to find another job. I don't say this lightly. I know jobs are hard to come by in this economy. What should I do? How do I job hunt and continue working? I have student loans to pay so just leaving is definitely not an option. Should I consult a recruiting firm? How do I prepare for something like that? Should I contact the temp agency that originally placed me, or is that a no-no?

Any help, insight and constructive criticism is very welcome.

just quit man!!! you will feel better

John in Catonsville, Maryland

26 months ago

bob in Stockport, United Kingdom said: just quit man!!! you will feel better

I would feel better, but only temporarily. Until the stresses of perhaps not being able to find a new position and bills piling up.......

Been There in Sunnyside, New York

23 months ago

Hello,

Yes, it's usually best to find a new job before leaving the current one. But if your health and and peace of mind are being impacted then you need to find ways to cope with stress, pressure and "drama and intrigue", which are sadlly all too common in workplaces.

I have been in a very difficult company for 5 years- have wanted to quit many times, but instead I have learned how to take care of myself. (I get a good salary and will leave when I am ready) How I cope- I meditate, do yoga, pray, exercise, have had therapy and life coaching, eat well, get support from friend.

I recommend the book "Working for You Isn't Working for Me"- has good info on dealing with difficult bosses.

I think it's good to try to learn coping skills, as chances are- you could be faced with a difficult work environment again, it's just how it is out there - not a lot of really healthy, happy companies (though they do exist) I wish everyone in this position all the best at surviving and overcoming such a situation.

Jessica Grayson in Hayward, California

7 months ago

Oh Wow, this is amazing. Try www.ModernCareerAdvice.com if you're looking for another job. It looks like they have up to date information and some of the free strategies they use to land their clients offers

Shingami in Chicago, Illinois

7 months ago

I'd like to know what happened with the OP. I also used to work in the legal field and was let go a few months ago so I had no option but to leave. It was a very stressful, draining environment. There were down days, but more often it was more stressful than the pay was worth. I know all to well how you feel too, I was there for 8 years. My problem was I got serious to late and ended up with this dreadful atty who had it out for me. Any typo she turned into Eveline from The Wiz, she was crazy and high strung and it wasn't just me, the office manager and other co-workers hated her too. She couldn't find a file once and blamed everyone, saying we were all out to get her and make her look bad. Oooookay.

Anyway, attorneys are horrible people, they all think Law School is some Godly place that Jesus himself must come down and touch your forehead for the honor to enter. They look down on anyone but other attorneys and expect you to kiss their a** at any given moment. Yep, been there done that. I hope since your first post you have gotten out of there. I know it's hard to look for a job when you have one, especially in the legal field, because when you suddenly call off for an interview work is piled sky high when you return, and with the recession you may call off for 2-3 interviews and not get it, so those days off were wasted.

I'm trying hard not to go back into a law firm, but it's a nightmare trying to transition into anything else. I have applied to law firms out of desperation, but feel queasy at the idea of going right back into that nonsense, but I feel like I'm doomed because I can't get hired for anything else. It's very hard to move to something different.

100 in Moreno Valley, California

3 months ago

I also would like to hear an update from the original poster! I really find myself in the same situation.

I too work in the legal field. I'm a "Legal Assistant" or rather an "human answering machine who cleans the office toilet". The Attorney I work for micromanages the hell out of me, since I'm the only person in this tiny office, and the only solace I receive is when she leaves for the day and I'm able to breathe. I've no co-workers to rely on, received about 4 days of training, and really I just feel really incompetent every single day I work.

I really can't take it anymore and I feel horrible, but I'm leaving. I'm quitting on the spot tomorrow without a two weeks notice. I know she is going to be infuriated she has to find someone else, (side note; I've only worked there a MONTH) but being depressed and on the verge of tears everyday is not worth the mediocre pay. I'm only getting 20 cents more than my old retail job! I'm young too and have a degree and I know I'm just moaning and groaning. So here's to the last day of staying up in a drug filled insomniac bender! If I want to change I have to go out there and do it!

Dougboy in Hacienda Heights, California

3 months ago

I have another thread on these boards with a similar situation. I wanted to wait for another job offer like everyone says but sometimes you have to do what's best for your health. I was only at my job for seven and half months and it felt like seven years. The owner was verbally abuse with personal insults and ridicule. He would say I have an MBA and experience but the previous manager (who he fired) who was uneducated was better than me because I was horrible, stupid, and "You suck". I was only sleeping 3-4 hours a day. Last Friday, it was just too much, I left at lunch and never came back. Best decision ever.

Jessica Grayson in Hayward, California

3 months ago

100 in Moreno Valley, California said: I also would like to hear an update from the original poster! I really find myself in the same situation.

I too work in the legal field. I'm a "Legal Assistant" or rather an "human answering machine who cleans the office toilet". The Attorney I work for micromanages the hell out of me, since I'm the only person in this tiny office, and the only solace I receive is when she leaves for the day and I'm able to breathe. I've no co-workers to rely on, received about 4 days of training, and really I just feel really incompetent every single day I work.

I really can't take it anymore and I feel horrible, but I'm leaving. I'm quitting on the spot tomorrow without a two weeks notice. I know she is going to be infuriated she has to find someone else, (side note; I've only worked there a MONTH) but being depressed and on the verge of tears everyday is not worth the mediocre pay. I'm only getting 20 cents more than my old retail job! I'm young too and have a degree and I know I'm just moaning and groaning. So here's to the last day of staying up in a drug filled insomniac bender! If I want to change I have to go out there and do it!

It's easier to find a job when you're currently at a job. I would keep the job (just because there are bills to pay) and stick it out until you're able to find another job. I would update my resume and every night that I would go home, spend that time finding things that would help in my job search.

However, I understand the frustrating of working for a place you feel unqualified for, in which case if you quit, it's fine. Just have a VERY good reason for why you quit when you go on to your interviews for your next job. Not being proficient at you job or getting enough training may not cut it as an answer.

Good luck!

HopEducationalConsulting in Whittier, California

3 months ago

Does you employer allow leave or absence or do you have accumulated leave balances such as vacation, sick and or personal sick time? Maybe while you take a break also take the time to actively look for a job. The leave of absence option would allow for your position to be held as you look for something else and can return in the amount of time given without pay. The leave balance option allows for you to hold on to your job, take off approved time and get paid to be off, while looking for a job but it just that using your own time you have earned.

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona

3 months ago

John in Catonsville, Maryland said: I would feel better, but only temporarily. Until the stresses of perhaps not being able to find a new position and bills piling up.......

Yep, the only thing worse than a bad job is no job at all.c

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona

3 months ago

HopEducationalConsulting in Whittier, California said: Does you employer allow leave or absence or do you have accumulated leave balances such as vacation, sick and or personal sick time? Maybe while you take a break also take the time to actively look for a job. The leave of absence option would allow for your position to be held as you look for something else and can return in the amount of time given without pay. The leave balance option allows for you to hold on to your job, take off approved time and get paid to be off, while looking for a job but it just that using your own time you have earned.

No one takes a leave of absence nowadays. You do that, and they will hire someone else while you are gone...who doesn't take time off.

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois

3 months ago

Wow. Investorguy was a good poster. I wonder what happened to Joe Gagill? I also wonder what happened to OP. Those of you above who quit, good luck. What investorguy said about it being easier to get a job when you have one is absolutely true. And it helps you in your salary negotiation. But I don't begrudge you leaving. I know how hard and stressful some of these jobs can be. Seems the norm nowadays.

John in MD in Catonsville, Maryland

3 months ago

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois said: Wow. Investorguy was a good poster. I wonder what happened to Joe Gagill? I also wonder what happened to OP. Those of you above who quit, good luck. What investorguy said about it being easier to get a job when you have one is absolutely true. And it helps you in your salary negotiation. But I don't begrudge you leaving. I know how hard and stressful some of these jobs can be. Seems the norm nowadays.

Joe Gagill is still alive and kicking. I hear from him from time to time though he hasn't said if he is working or not at this time.

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois

3 months ago

Joe's dream girl is still here, but she's not gonna make my brown eyes blue tea anymore.

She's red ruby don't you take your love to town slippers. And she still suggest baking and sending German Chocolate cakes rather than thank you letters.

Almost Suicidal in Houston, Texas

3 months ago

I think the only girl Joe will ever have is the one in his dreams...But the woman whose grandmother worked in the insane asylum has brought great wisdom to all of us!

HopEducationalConsulting in Los Angeles, California

3 months ago

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona said: No one takes a leave of absence nowadays. You do that, and they will hire someone else while you are gone...who doesn't take time off.

Some places still offer a leave of absence and they will hold you position BUT your location, who you are under and work hours are not promised those can change if by the time you return.

xboxer in Cactus, Arizona

3 months ago

HopEducationalConsulting in Los Angeles, California said: Some places still offer a leave of absence and they will hold you position BUT your location, who you are under and work hours are not promised those can change if by the time you return.

I don't think you are a source of any information on this.
Your responses are from 30 years ago.
No business "holds a job" for anyone now.
If you go away, there's a huge chance someone else will be there. Exception is the Family Leave.

P&G in Cincinnati, Ohio

3 months ago

Here are some thoughts:
*Is seeing a doctor and going on medical leave an option? Stress is a real threat to your health, as is sleep deprivation. If you have a pre-existing condition, sleep deprivation/stress might aggravate it further. Visit your doctor, have an HONEST conversation about your job and all, ask if you can get a note asking for time off... it's worth a shot. Some doctors will do a note for you.

*Apply for the student loan deferments/income based deferment programs... the less money you make, the better off you are in terms of showing that you need a deferment.

*Don't wait until you snap to get out... send your resume to temp agencies that way you (possibly) get income fast if you feel like you can't take it anymore.

*Be prepared to give a polite resignation and also a reason on future applications for why you're leaving - frame it in a positive way, like you left due to schedule conflicts, to take on a new challenge, use your skills in a new way, etc.
* Think of individuals that will serve as a reference for you. If management is not professional or collegial with you, are there peers that will vouch for you>
*Can you cut your hours down from full-time to part-time to make things more tolerable and so you can get a second job (to connect you to your next career step)?

aperryPC in Blackstone, Massachusetts

1 month ago

Hi there! If the main problem is the work environment, you could always try starting your own business. With your own hours and schedule, it would be much less stressful. It’s never good to be emotionally drained when working, I hope you found something that is better for your health by now. If you are still looking, I just became a Pampered Chef consultant and it is fantastic! You can create your own hours. You don’t have to buy the products in order to sell them. If you love cooking, it’s great, if you hate cooking, it’s even better.
Jobs are very hard to come by in today’s economy, so starting your own business is the best advice I can think of. I joined for the exact same reason, to pay off student loans. But now I think it is something that I would like to do for much longer than just paying off the rest of my loans.
Anyway, if you would like to think about it and check out my site, feel free to contact me with any questions! www.pamperedchef.com/pws/alyssaperry
I hope you find what you are looking for!

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