Take control of the interview and your destiny! Shock and Awe interview tactics!

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Comments (7)

Frank Delinore in Beverly Hills, California

15 months ago

Too often we focus on how to answer questions to impress the interviewer, kowtowing to their every demands like the meek and mild cattle we are. But no longer! I want you to take control of the interview, exert your dominance over the interviewer and forcefully extract a positive hiring recommendation through sheer willpower. I call it the SHOCK AND AWE tactic.

First we shock. Pet owners or military vets have an upper hand here. Have you ever gotten really pissed at your dog and yelled NO! with so much emotion and force that your dog immediately sat up to attention and stopped what it is doing? Along with ever other animal/preteen/grandma in the neighborhood? Well this is what we are going to use to SHOCK.

Answer the first few questions normally, lull the interviewer into a sense of normally, then on about the 3rd or 4th question, regardless of the topic let loose. "NO!" It has to come from the raw kernel of anger you have all been stoking over the years, in a deep voice, resounding, resonating. Channel your warrior spirit here, gang.

Now we have the interviewer's attention. You've just taken control, feel proud. Sit up tall, cross your arms and puff your chest. Stare at the interviewer right in the eyes.

This is when we establish AWE through constant, unwavering eye contact while we are at the full fortitude of our figure. Make yourself as big and looming as humanly possible. If you concealed a red cape or a something similar beneath your shirt, now is the time to flourish it.

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Frank Delinore in Beverly Hills, California

15 months ago

Frank Delinore in Beverly Hills, California said: cont.

Now, before the interviewer has recovered you must say in a calm but firm tone, "You will hire me. I am the best and only person for this job." Now slowly stand, maintaining eye contact and back away towards the door. If the interviewer tries to say anything, you immediately cut him off by firmly saying "No exceptions." Do this every time he opens his mouth as you slowly make your exit. Maintain eye contact until you leave the room. The only exception is a possible cape flourish but if you practice at home, you should be able to maintain eye contact even through this advanced maneuver. Expect job offer in 1-2 days.

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Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York

15 months ago

Sorry Frankie,

but I give it a thumbs down.

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Calfornian in Hayward, California

15 months ago

I've been giving serious thought to saying no to certain questions in an interview but I think I'll do it in a different fashion.

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Jeff in Silver Spring, Maryland

15 months ago

This would be something that would be fun to try, but only if you absolutely don't want the job.

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Calfornian in Hayward, California

15 months ago

Jeff in Silver Spring, Maryland said: This would be something that would be fun to try, but only if you absolutely don't want the job.

I think going meekly to the slaughter, which I've been doing, is a problem too.

I'm in tech and I always get some version of a technical question. The worst one's, for me at least, are syntax based. A few years back I was in 2 interviews in a row where guys hit me with SQL Server based questions. I was there for MySQL, claiming no real expertise with SQL Server at that point. The problem is I wound up doing a variant of "never heard of that before" and it was -10 points for me. FFS, at least know enough to hit me on the platform I'm claiming to know. Do, ENOUGH, homework to know they're different.

The other day I got hit with a question that was unanswerable. I tried to explain that, but it was very structured, and the interviewers wouldn't interact with me. -20 points for me.

I also think the world would be a better place if people who interviewed with Google and got the "it's Tuesday, 74 degrees outside, the windows are being cleaned, how many windows can 3 people clean", responded with, "I have no idea, I'm usually with your mom when the windows are being cleaned."

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Jeff in Silver Spring, Maryland

15 months ago

Calfornian in Hayward, California said: I think going meekly to the slaughter, which I've been doing, is a problem too.

You might not get a job, but at least you'll inherit the Earth.

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