What if I don't want to work anymore?

I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

You should not give up trying. Maybe you can try looking for diffrent types of jobs, or even go back to school. This economy is really rough but job seekers have to keep on trying.

I don't want to work either, but how are the bills going to get paid. With the holidays upon us, try getting a seasonal job. Deliver newspapers, babysit, shovel snow. Advertise an odd job on Craigslist in your area. Little jobs can add up if you have some skill that people can use a hand with.

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

I know you don't mean that. You really want to work, but you're feeling the weight of defeat on your shoulders.

Many of us are in the same boat as you, and I know it's hard to keep positive during these times, but you've gotta keep pushing through and keep strong. Please hang in there and don't give up!

CareerAmazing I knew you were up to something the minute I read your phony response to me. No string attached, eh? Riiiiggghhhhttt!!! lol

OldandSad in Paramus, New Jersey said: CareerAmazing I knew you were up to something the minute I read your phony response to me. No string attached, eh? Riiiiggghhhhttt!!! lol

I don't get it ?
What's wrong with a little encouragement and motivational thrust?
The only reason I post anything on here is because I find it therapeutic and comforting to know that I'm not alone.
Who knows, maybe some of my experiences can help someone that's at a loss.

CareerAmazing in Chicago, Illinois said: Sometimes God has been good and you just want to use your gifts for his glory. I'm a great writer and love using it to help people in this tough economy--no hidden motives.

You do realize that most people will be guarded the moment you mention God and Glory in a sentence to validate your motivation, right ?

I have no problem with it, but just saying it may have people be skeptical of where you're going..

CareerAmazing in Chicago, Illinois said: I'm not worried about that. I offered to help, and ultimately it's that person's personal decision. It's really not a big deal or a point of debate. We all believe and are motivated by different things in life. If "God" and "glory" in the same sentence makes someone nervous, I cannot control that.

Good luck to all of you. Who knew trying to offer a little help to someone struggling would be so exasperating! :)

Okay I take you at your word. That's a wonderful thing. But let me ask you, and I ask you to be honest. Down the road after communicating with you for a while, do you offer any services that cost money? Please be honest.

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

We have been out of work close to the same amount of time. A few years ago, I started volunteering at a couple museums that I happened to like. That has finally led to selling some things on an auction site for both museums, something I like to do and brings in a few dollars to help out.

I have seen sappy type comments like "find something you like to do and follow your dream" and all I could think was "yea, right, easier said than done." For me, it took quite a bit of digging, and it is not paying the bills, but at least it's something and I'm keeping myself busy.

Good point. Sappy comments are worthless. I think it's believing in sappy comments that got me in this mess to begging with.

I love when people write sappy comments on here as if they know you or even care lol.

IslandStyle said: I love when people write sappy comments on here as if they know you or even care lol.

I guess my comment must've been considered "sappy" by someone since it was voted unhelpful.

You're right, I don't know any of you and our paths may never cross. But I've been unemployed for a long time and the unemployed are treated like lepers. It's a dehumanizing and depressing to be unemployed, and we need to continue to support each other.

TryingHardToFindWork in Arlington, Virginia said:
You're right, I don't know any of you and our paths may never cross. But I've been unemployed for a long time and the unemployed are treated like lepers. It's a dehumanizing and depressing to be unemployed, and we need to continue to support each other.

I don't think there's anything wrong with sappy comments and you're exactly right about this dark and depressing time in our lives.

I once had a job that was very tedious and very administrative.
The people i had to deal with were all disgruntled employees of our organization and my job was to ease some of their woes by cutting through the red tape and reaching out to them.

Then there was my boss; a very positive, up-beat, "everybody knows and likes" type of personality.
He had me put together a presentation on the FISH Philosophy and then present it to all the people in our organization at one of our conferences. (about 100 people)
I had never done this type of thing before and quite honestly, I thought it was a waste of time because I thought everybody was chronically miserable. (I was also nervous as hell)
Long-story-short.. I was quite surprised at all the people that came up to me after and told me how much they enjoyed my little 15 minute presentation.

Now, I actually buy into this "choose your attitude" and "make their day" philosophy..
It makes a difference and it's infectious.

Oh, and I also got a promotion 3 months later. :)

Elia in Skokie, Illinois said: I don't want to work either, but how are the bills going to get paid. With the holidays upon us, try getting a seasonal job. Deliver newspapers, babysit, shovel snow. Advertise an odd job on Craigslist in your area. Little jobs can add up if you have some skill that people can use a hand with.

Well said.
If no one wanted to work, where the world would head? Small money is also money when the bills are coming and we are hungry.

For me, being unemployed for over three very long years (yes, one of the darkest times), the "sappy" comments just don't cut it. They don't pay the bills. They simply ignore the reality of my being unable to get a job. They don't put food on the table. I hear "it will get better". WHEN??!!!???? I need a job (or at least money) NOW!!! Three years ago would have been so much better!

Sorry about the rant, but just saying that I have a hard time ignoring my reality of no job, no money, going to loose my house and car, etc, etc.

I agree with the OP given the choice between working and not working I would choose not working as well. How to go about doing that is the real question.

All we can do now is hope that technology puts more and more people out of work to the point that the current human work to live system becomes obsolete.

A world where every man, woman and child was unemployed, that would be a wonderful time to be alive indeed.

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

If you don't have to, then don't. It's your decision.

Where I work, if you have been unemployed for 2 years they won't hire you. They won't tell you this and you could never prove it. It's there decision.

just googled unemployed for so long and don't want to work and found this!

Actually I NEVER wanted to work and have HATED all my jobs but after close to 4 yr.s of being a lady of leisure i have even LESS motivation, I do not miss the actual act of getting up and having to be someplace 5 days a week 1 iota.

Money in not an issue in the immediate future (i am really super thrifty and spend less than the ave. american) I cut my own bangs and wear my hair in a p-tail and wear most of the same clothes I did in my 20's (am in 40's now) Basic Black is my look so while I may not look terribly polished i don't really care as I am pretty enough naturally w/o embellishment and am not going for modelling jobs or front desk jobs at beauty salons or big corporations

I myself never was part of the camaraderie that sposedly exists in most offices/organizations so I don't miss the social contact, in fact what a relief to not have to be social when it is not in one's nature. I used to HATE the mindless chit-chat and being told not to look so serious.

It does boil down to $ tho at some pt. do you want to sleep on a park bench and git your dinner from a dumpster? Fear is a negative motivator but probably keeps alot of unhappy people employed.

Some yrs. ago I went to a shrink to complain about my utter lack of motivation, actually about 7 of them and 15 therapists, they could not relate or understand my total lack of desire for any kind of acheivement or personal goal fulfillment. I was given meds to up my dopamine levels but to no avail. It's annoying lacking the desire to work but it's just not there. I'd rather go hiking.

if you dont' want to work and just can't bring yourself to pursue a job, apply to part time jobs, at least if you get one of those you will appear more marketable and buy 1 lotto ticket a week till you hit the jackpot OR befriend a wealthy older person with no heirs or look for lost pets with reward $.

You just can't give up. You've got to keep on keepin on. I've been laid off since January of last year, and I'm still looking. If you don't work, how are you going to eat, keep a roof over your head, your utilities on, your car running, get medical care, and so forth?

TryingHardToFindWork in Arlington, Virginia said: I know you don't mean that. You really want to work, but you're feeling the weight of defeat on your shoulders.

Many of us are in the same boat as you, and I know it's hard to keep positive during these times, but you've gotta keep pushing through and keep strong. Please hang in there and don't give up!

I have a job and don't want to work, there is no defeat causing me to hate work... why would anyone want to work? People treat you badly and you are trapped 8 hours a day as someone else's slave

^ I'm about to go to my job that is part-time, pays little, and has no health benefits right now! I can't wait to get started continuing to be severely under-worked and underpaid because it's the only opportunity that said yes to my resume! /sarcasm

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

i have been out of work for almost 1 yr.

the thing with me is that i want to work. however, i don't want to work if it means taking a real crappy job. about the only thing out there now.

i think you get to the point in life where you dont want to go to work every day stressed out hating some job that doesn't even pay much.

( bozo bosses, nasty emails, long commtes, selling a product or service no one wants, etc, etc, etc )

maybe my attitude will change once unemployment runs out.

Lots of people are trying to hook their wagon up with an affluent spouse and forget about looking for a job.

Donna in Ogden, UT said: Lots of people are trying to hook their wagon up with an affluent spouse and forget about looking for a job.

Are you talking to me! If you are, then for 1 million I'm yours and a picture of yourself won't be necessary.

I'd totally sign up to be a house dad, if I could only get a successful businesswoman to like the idea too!

What's that honey, you're a doctor? You can keep on being a doctor. I'll have dinner ready for you when you get home. =D It'll even be good!

OldandSad in Saddle Brook, New Jersey said: I've been out of work so long (3 years in a few more months), I don't even want to work anymore. What should I do?

I feel that way sometimes but I refuse to give up. I've never quit at anything, no matter how tough it may seem. I may cry and get frustrated but I pick myself back up and try again. That's what you have to do.

I dunno, my motivation is at an all time low maxing out on my 99 weeks 1.5 yr.s ago did not change my attitude or infuse me with sudden desire to become a cube dweller, did not think it could actually get any lower since it was pretty non-existant to begin with, have not found a job to apply to in 4 weeks now so in a chronic state of panic. Everything is either something/place I've applied to several times before or I just don't meet the qualifications either personalitywise (energetic hard working self starter, willing to do whatever it takes) or Proficient in MS Office or some other system like Quickbooks which i "knew" but am not proficient in.
These are entry level jobs, $30K/yr. which is less then what I've ever made prior. So far 2012 is as bad as or WORSE than 2009. Utterly unbelievable. Is there some kind of alternate universe?
The news in the media is inaccurate, some companies are hiring for some entry level jobs, mostly sales and customer service round here but you need a certain personality to do that, admin clerical jobs either don't exist or are advertised by some agency that doesnt even send an acknowledgement of your application, even though you've applied like 500 times thru the same agency, even willing to take $12/hr admin jobs that used to go for $18/hr.
Fantasized about the match.com thing too but allready been there done that in my 30's, if you're over 40 are unemployed and have never even dated well, ya either win the lottery or go buy a bucket at the $1 store and make one of those handmade "need $ signs" and hope ya don't get arrested for being a public nuisance OR worse somebody ya know doesnt stop the car and ask what in God's name are ya doing? since as we long term unemployed know, people tend to not ask us about the logistics of living with no income, assuming we all got tons of $ stuffed under our mattress or whatever.
I don't see how ANYBODY can maintain a positive 'tude in these circumstances esp. long term.

It's hard to keep your head up for sure and just when you think things are going the right direction some other crap happens. It never seems to get any easier.

I hope I never work for someone again. I'm tired of getting exploited so all the people up on the hill can get richer. I'd rather go to soup kitchens and sleep on park benches.

I was out of work for 3 years but luckily I had no debt and no kids to take care of. I worked at an AutoZone for 20 hours per week as a cashier just to avoid touching my 401K retirement savings. I was expecting to find a full-time good paying job within 3 months but it took 3 years to find another job that paid a living wage with benefits.

I was out of work for 3 years but luckily I had no debt and no kids to take care of. I worked at an AutoZone for 20 hours per week as a cashier just to avoid touching my 401K retirement savings. I was expecting to find a full-time good paying job within 3 months but it took 3 years to find another job that paid a living wage with benefits.

Beth, can you expound on that a bit? How did you get the job? Was it through an ad? How many interviews did you have there? Did you know someone? And did you have to explain the gap? If so, did you have to explain it multiple times?

Beth in Plano, TX said: I was out of work for 3 years but luckily I had no debt and no kids to take care of. I worked at an AutoZone for 20 hours per week as a cashier just to avoid touching my 401K retirement savings. I was expecting to find a full-time good paying job within 3 months but it took 3 years to find another job that paid a living wage with benefits.

I was expecting to get a job within 6 months, but it's been almost 1 yr and counting now. You do get tired of the sh>:! Finding a good job is probably one of the hardest things a person will have to go thru.

Ditto Above: I'd LOVE to know how anyone could get a job after a 3 yr.or longer gap, although I guess you did not actually have a gap since you worked at Autozone and could use as ref?
I suppose that was a big help, resume experts say something is better than nothing even if that be some crappy low paying retail job, tho am not sure how that help get a non-low paying/non-retail job since my experience is it's the last job on your resume that matters most.

I also don't have kids and kinda wish I did so I had something to explain what I've been doing for ex. "taking care of my kids" as if I intentionally wasn't working, plus i'd be able to get cash assistance, there is no cash avail from the DSS if you have no kids and arent working and aren't disabled or are 25 yr.s from retirement age, you might be able to get food, rent and medical but one still needs $ to pay for everything else about $500/month in my case and I don't think one can qualify for any public assistance program indefinitely

Unfortunately the only long term unemployed I know of who got jobs eventually got them by personally knowing someone in a position to hire or to influence the hiring decision. My letters of ref. are so outdated I can't even use them anymore, I think the world will end before I get hired.

endoftheworld in Hartford, Connecticut said: ...
These are entry level jobs, $30K/yr. which is less then what I've ever made prior. So far 2012 is as bad as or WORSE than 2009. Utterly unbelievable. Is there some kind of alternate universe?...]

You might go back to school or start going to MeetUp.com groups to network... But I hear you because how the heck are you going to get additional skills without the disposable income to fund that education?

Personally, I think the Internet has crippled the job market. Employers are swamped the moment an opening goes online. Moreover, it used to be you could go to an establishment and they couldn't refuse to give you an application. Now they can refer you to the Internet where you rarely learn a name or contact info. Even the old standby of pounding the pavement is considered "creepy", persistence "desperate".

Branch managers and the like can't so much as view or accept your application; HQ filters ALL Internet apps. It was formerly possible to get to know managers at the local level who could make their preferences known to HR when it came time to set interviews. Now a store or office manager won't even see your application unless HQ, which could be located out of state, chooses to forward it.

Those who have yet to seek a job in the "Internet economy" of recent years, assume too much: that every "hiring" sign is legit --- not that it's perpetually posted in a window; that if you come from a professional background you can land a minimum wage job in a cinch --- not appreciating that those jobs have been swamped by everyone who assume they are easy pickings (including all the young people who, along with the old, are facing higher unemployment than the folks in the middle).

Corporate can also infer from your graduation/employment dates how old you are. Hence, there's little age diversity in low-pay/entry jobs despite a "blind" Internet application process. The game has changed and few play it well.

LYNND in Whittier, California said: Personally, I think the Internet has crippled the job market. Employers are swamped the moment an opening goes online. Moreover, it used to be you could go to an establishment and they couldn't refuse to give you an application. Now they can refer you to the Internet where you rarely learn a name or contact info. Even the old standby of pounding the pavement is considered "creepy", persistence "desperate".

The same technology that allows you to find a pair of purple bowling shoes in size 14 is the same technology that now allows companies to find just the right candidate they want.

Its just one of the darksides of technology. Helen in Personnel retired a long time ago.

Old and Sad: keep on keeping on. Don't give up. I've been laid off since January of last year, and I'm still looking.

Bluetea in Texas said: Helen in Personnel retired a long time ago.

Man, I really miss Helen. :(

Helen was probably forced to take early retirement. While Helen was working they cut her hours in half and she couldn't find any other work because she was over the age of 55. She had to use her life savings to live on and eventually the company downsized her and let her go. She tried to find a different job for 3 years, but gave up and retired early with little money left in the bank. She ended up getting food stamps to get by while her illegal immigrant neighbors ate steaks and lobster every night. She had trouble paying her bills and had to sell her house for next to nothing. She then ended up in living in a dumpy apartment. Soon she had trouble paying rent and was forced to move in with her daughter and her family in a spare bedroom in the fixed up basement.

LYNND in Whittier, California said:

Going for addit. training and joining some group such as Meet-up are good ideas if you are able to do so. Neither of these things are options for me (actually been there done that ages ago).
Lack of motivation was what the OP was about tho there are other factors besides motivation in being successful, w/o a high level of motivation it's impossible to accomplish anything.

As I am "middle aged" so age is not a factor in my 3+ yr. gap, I was 39 when I lost my job. I don't know that middle aged people have an easier time of getting hired. There are many factors why someone is or is not hired, though I'd not disagree that if you're over 50 it will be a handicap, esp. if the person hiring is younger.

BTW - like "Helen" my major was a BBA with concentration in Human Resources Management though I was never able to get a job in the field due to lack of "prior experience" and it even waay more difficult now than in the 1990's (to get any job in any field but HR esp). Most companies don't have full fledged HR departments anymore and forget about onsite T&D.
At least "Helen" had family to move in with and they probably got a free babysitter but if she didn't she'd be forced to beg, borrow or steal in order to support herself no matter how motivated she was if nobody offered her a job.

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois said: Beth, can you expound on that a bit? How did you get the job? Was it through an ad? How many interviews did you have there? Did you know someone? And did you have to explain the gap? If so, did you have to explain it multiple times?

I applied for the job directly at the company website and posted my resume with my supply chain (materials management) experience / background. I did not know anybody at this company and did two interviews before being offered the job. I worked various part-time jobs during the 3 years but always stayed busy at any crap retail job just for a source of income. Deep down inside I know things would get better and being layed off after 15 years would have me chasing every possible job lead. The 3 year gap was explained that I was downsized and wasn't my choice to make peanuts at a part-time job. I think what helped me was that I wasn't afraid or embarrassed to work along high-school kids at a low paying job. During that 3 year period I'm guessing I went on 20 interviews and filled out 200 job applications.

oh so she wasn't "unemployed" she was "UNDERemployed" Biiig difference, thousands of people are "UNDERemployed" nowdays - that is NOT an employment gap and will not raise eyebrows so much as an actual gap of last job worked Dec. 2008, etc. tho am sure any retail job will not enhance one's resume unless you're looking to go into retail management or you've got something else going on like went to school while working part time.
I dunno if there are any threads on this site/elsewhere on people who literally were unemployed for several yrs, no side-jobs, no temp or contract work, nada and it wasn't that they intentionally took time off or were the 2nd. income in a 2 person household and CHOSE not to work.
The people who have difficulty getting jobs and don't really want to work in the first place, or is it, people who don't want to work have difficulty getting jobs are the one's I'm most interested in finding out what eventually happened since I am personally mentally preparing for the worse and don't think there is a happy ending for any of us 99ers.

Beth in Plano, TX said: During that 3 year period I'm guessing I went on 20 interviews and filled out 200 job applications.

OMG ONLY 200 aplications in THREE yrs???

more like 3000 for me and I don't even want to work but i need the $ so I apply to anything I remotely qualify for in a 20 mile radius.

I had about 20 interviews A YEAR cept for my 1st. yr. and this yr. so far is like 2

I am always shocked when I read some long term UE applying to so few jobs, it does give the impression as if one weren't really looking unless you live in a really bad employment area; the # of jobs i apply to week to week has varied from zero to over 20 during the 2010-11 hiring frenzy.

I worked 20 hours per week x $8 an hour just to get out of my apartment and keep my sanity. Staying inside all day would drive me crazy plus I actually enjoyed my coworkers and boss. The problem is that many unemployed folks would rather not work this type of retail job. It sure sucks being under employed but I didn't have to touch my 401K. Taxes and penalty would have killed half the balance. Yes 200 job applications in 3 years.... but I ONLY applied for positions that I was qualified for and had experience. I also worked at a hospital gift shop 12 hours a week.

What does your husband say about you not being able to find work ?

Beth - OBVIOUSLY we only apply to jobs we are able to do, what be the pt. otherwise? I guess I live in an area with alot more opportunities tho a good chunk of that is retail/restaurant jobs; and w/o prior recent retail exp. one cannot even get a seasonal job as cashier at garden center (actually i was asked if I was inquiring about a job for my KID in several places, this has happened w other retail jobs too)

"What does your husband say"???

Um - I am NOT married as mentioned previously! Never been close. Drives me batty when people ask me about my imaginary husband or kids, in real life people also "assume" I am married/divorced AND have kids as well, I'll bet when I get older people will start asking me about my grandkids and if my husband is retired yet.
If I WAS married i'd not of been interested in this post and would not of googled "i don't want to work" there would BE no problem, I'd be a housewife and my man would bring home the bacon.

^ Heh, I also experience the assumed "so what do your wife and kids think" question. When I tell them I don't have any, they assume I'm either gay or a heartless cretin who no woman could ever love. =D

Oh! Definitely the second one...;)

I'm from another planet myself (people ask which one too).

"people assume i'm married when I'm not" sounds like a good topic for that experienceproject.com website

People also assume i could have a life partner if I wanted one, like i could just go and pick one from the store, well am going to the grocery store this afternoon, since I'm bored maybe i'll flirt with the man behind the seafood counter, tell him his crab legs look so firm and tasty, i'd love to suck the meat right outta them and he'll be so smitten by my ravishing beauty and wit he'll ask me out to dinner.

well i wonder what happed to the OP? did they never respond because they got a job or what?

endoftheworld,

Sorry if I offended you, I missed that you are single. Any reason why you don't want to get married?

Life has its ups and downs. You will find a job and things will get better. There are 20 million unemployed people in the USA. If you have to work two part-time jobs to make ends meet then that's what you gotta do to stay a float.

Nick,
Maybe you lost your mojo when it comes to dating. I have no problem dating a guy with little money, working hard trying to get ahead in life. You don't need to drive a BMW to impress a woman.

I'm quite sure that I don't even want to consider marrying anyone, until and unless I have a job that can support a family. So really, until one of these employers signs me up, all that other stuff is on hold.