project manager / coordinator cover letter assistance

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Comments (7)

Yazan NR in Florence, Kentucky

14 months ago

Please take few moments and read over my cover letter. It literally includes everything I know/did while working. I've been looking for a job for nearly 3 months and I'm absolutely frustrated. I apply every single day 30 to 40 positions nationwide, and no positive responds.

Can you please assist me into making better if possible.

Joe Sam
New York NY, USA
Cell: +1-xxx-xxx-xxxx
E-mail: xxx.xxxx@outlook.com

May 8th, 2013

Dear Recruiter,

I am writing this letter regarding the Project Coordinator position, offered at ABC consulting group in Buffalo, NY. I’m really interested into joining your team and be a part of an exciting and energetic organization. I believe my proven skills and comprehensive background in management and IT administration will make me a highly competitive candidate and a valuable asset to ABC consulting group.

My recent position was a Project Manager for at XYZ International in Kuwait. Being in a diverse community, the work environment was very competitive and challenging. I lead and managed large scaled IT and civil projects for both US Military and Kuwaiti Government. Some key area where my experience elevated:

• Initiating projects and planning strategies through project life cycle.
• Leading teams to complete tasks and reach objectives.
• Developing RFQ, RFP and bidding process skills.
• Change management.
Communication planning.
• Inspection and quality control.
• Using technology resources to track progress.

My information technology experience relate to positions held for LMN Queens NY, and EFG NY, NY. I was responsible of handling day-to-day IT operations, server management, LAN administration and customer service.

** CONTINUES **

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Yazan NR in Florence, Kentucky

14 months ago

I graduated from Devry University NY with a Bachelor degree in Technical Management with emphasis on Project Management in 2012. I also studied computer network administration at New York State College between 2008 till 2010. I’m proficient in Microsoft computer based software (Visio, SharePoint and Excel) for design, analysis and calculation. I'm also very skilled in project management software such as Microsoft Project and have used it in my recent position.

Please review my attached resume. I look forward to speaking with you about this career opportunity and would appreciate an interview to further discuss my qualifications and abilities for the position.

Sincerely,
Joe Sam

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Unix Brat in Asheville, North Carolina

14 months ago

1. There are a few grammatical mistakes.
2. Don't mention DeVry.
3. You write about your past, which by the way sounds very accomplished, but the manner in how it is written does not help the employer. He needs to see a connection between what you can do and what his company needs.
4. My personal rule of thumb for a cover letter: if I'm going to bother writing one, I'll make it specific to the position requirements. Example: the ad says 'Sharepoint experience.' So I would put down "I see you are looking for someone with previous Sharepoint experience. At my current position I have been the Sharepoint administrator for four years, serving 1200 users. I was the project manager when my organization successfully migrated from 2.0 to MOSS 2010 Enterprise edition. This project also involved an MS SQL database and server hardware upgrade, which was accomplished on schedule and within budget."

You come across as someone who would make a good PM. If you have the time start studying the PMBOK and think about getting certified, I think this will help get you some interviews.

Last of all, are you only contacting recruiters? Some are helpful but I suggest putting your efforts some where else for better results.

Wishing you success.

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Yazan NR in Florence, Kentucky

14 months ago

Unix Brat in Asheville, North Carolina said: 1. There are a few grammatical mistakes.
2. Don't mention DeVry.
3. You write about your past, which by the way sounds very accomplished, but the manner in how it is written does not help the employer. He needs to see a connection between what you can do and what his company needs.
4. My personal rule of thumb for a cover letter: if I'm going to bother writing one, I'll make it specific to the position requirements. Example: the ad says 'Sharepoint experience.' So I would put down "I see you are looking for someone with previous Sharepoint experience. At my current position I have been the Sharepoint administrator for four years, serving 1200 users. I was the project manager when my organization successfully migrated from 2.0 to MOSS 2010 Enterprise edition. This project also involved an MS SQL database and server hardware upgrade, which was accomplished on schedule and within budget."

You come across as someone who would make a good PM. If you have the time start studying the PMBOK and think about getting certified, I think this will help get you some interviews.

Last of all, are you only contacting recruiters? Some are helpful but I suggest putting your efforts some where else for better results.

Wishing you success.

Great, my older cover letter included some of tasks I managed as a PM, but I thought it looked too boring and techy!

Also, I don't get the part "Don't mention Devry"! Why not?

As far as who am I contacting, I contact companies directly and if no contact name provided, I begin with dear recruiter. should I change that?

Thanks,

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Unix Brat in Asheville, North Carolina

14 months ago

DeVry has a tainted reputation. Just a few weeks ago it was subpoenaed by two states. Even though you may have busted your chops to earn your degree, the thing that matters right now is how these things are viewed by whomever is spending five seconds per cover letter, using whatever criteria they see fit to weed out candidates.

RE your assessment of your old cover letter sounding boring, you still might be correct. If the old letter doesn't specify what a particular employer is looking for, then it likely won't interest them.

Do you just have two versions of your cover letter? I lost count of how many cover letters I have written. I have always written a discrete, new letter to a potential employer. Sure I have done some cutting and pasting at times, but it is going to get you a better response if you tailor it to a specific job. Do not include everything you've done or know.

I am neutral regarding what salutation to use. Maybe someone else can jump in and give their opinion. I usually use "Dear Sir or Madam:"

Last bit of advice--do less online applications. As you know, most of those jobs are fake. Do more of a person-to-person approach to landing your next job. Good luck!

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wordsmithtress in Vail, Arizona

13 months ago

Hi Joe,

Hope this isn't too much tough love, but your cover letter is so general that it will be seen by those reading it as a time-waster. All the "boring techy stuff" you deleted is likely the most important.

Right now your letter reads like this:
I am motivated and smart and a good employee.

You need something like:
My motivation has been demonstrated by 110% or greater achievement of all project goals in my most recent position. My ability to think on my feet earned my former company a 1.2 million dollar contract. Etc. etc. - Ideally using verbage from the job description.

You don't need to write about where you've graduated from, etc. That should be on the resume you submit.

As far as a salutation, try and find out who will be reading it. It can be as simple as calling the company, explaining that you are applying, and asking who the correct person to address would be. As a bonus, sometimes they will actually transfer you to the person and you'll get a chance to introduce yourself on the phone. It's a good idea to have a question ready about the position - they'll remember you!

[URL Advertisement removed by Indeed Moderator]

Cheers!

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Sophianne in Salt Lake City, Utah

13 months ago

1. Watch for grammatical errors and typos. Many recruiters will automatically disqualify your resume without further review if there are too many errors in the cover letter.

2. The cover letter needs to be SHORT and CONCISE. You are telling them why you are applying, why you think you are qualified, why they should read your resume. As mentioned previously, it's a good idea to refer back to the job description and give a specific example. You are expressing that you understand the need communicated in the job description, and you need to sell how you are the exact solution to meet that need. You've done this a thousand times on a larger scale in your contract proposal work.

3. In project management, your education is not as important as your experience and your results. Don't mention your school in the cover letter - it would only be relevant if the school was the potential employer. The school will be somewhere in your resume, down at the bottom buried under your impressive on-the-job accomplishments. If you have any other project management training aside from your schooling, I'm sure you included that, too. There has been a lot of controversy around commercial for-profit universities, including DeVry, but which school you went to is the least important detail of your experience to emphasize in this line of work. Don't brag on it. It's not important.

4. Project management interviewers sometimes as for a "portfolio". If you have any specialized templates that you developed for any of your projects, it's a good thing to have around. They also really like the boring techy bits - any facts and figures that you have will be helpful. If you can give specifics on money or time saved, or that you came in under budget, or at budget or on schedule even though challenges should have put you over by X% - that's what they need to see.

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