Anybody heard of a live-in nanny for a SAHM?

Any advice or opinions would be great. I am a live-in nanny for a stay at home mom of 3 kids (3 yr g/b, b-2yrs). I did the stupid thing and didn't ask for a writtenn contract (ya I know...they are my friends BTW). My question is who finds it odd that sAHM needs a live-IN nanny? I don't just do the things for the kids, I'm actually considered nanny/housekeeper. My family and friends all say I'm being slave driven having to work 14 plus hrs a day and only making $200/wk. I don't even have time for school really (1 class a semester and rarely time to study properly). Complaints from SAHM saying it is an inconvinence to her when I am not at the house (regardless where I am and what I'm doing). SAHM, to me, doesn't do hardly anything w/ the kids besides transportation to/from school. PLEASE ANY ADVICE!

I hate to say it, but you signed yourself up for this and dug yourself a 6ft hole when you didn't sign a contract. Her reasons for having a nanny should be respected or you shouldn't be her nanny. Working with a family where one stays home can be difficult, but if you keep the children occupied in exciting activities they'll get the idea of it and you'll do fine. Tell her you'd like to discuss some things and ask when a good time for her is. Plan ahead what you want to talk about and exactly what you're going to say. Use "I" statements [i.e. I feel.. when you.. etc.] and tell her exactly what you need--a raise, specific hours you're not available, and anything else she can do to help aid you. It sounds like this mother is probably pretty stressd and needs a break. Offer her any support you can and let her know you're there for her and understand working with children can take its toll and be stressful if you don't catch a break--exactly why you don't want to get burnt out.

I feel for you! I am a nanny for grandparents raising their daughters children after her passing. They have a father who only sees them on weekends. (A whole other issue.) The grandmother wants everyone to think she is so great for taking in these children, however does nothing for them. I do all child care, housework and anything else she can think of. She does work outside the home. This is because she cannot handle being home with them. They're difficult kids with no discipline or expectations for good behavior. I have become the caregiver, personal assistant, dog walker, event planner, etc. etc. etc. I do live outside the home, which is very nice but am often called when away from work and asked if I can come watch the kids so the couple can go out for dinner or whatever. Heaven forbid they do something with the kids. I'm sorry to say your situation probably won't get any better until you tell them what your complaints are. I don't understand it either, the whole stay-at-home Mom. Sounds like she's lazy and doesn't want anything to do with them. They're accessories. It's sad really. Maybe you need to convince her to step up and take pride in the beautiful children she has. It may also be a lack of confidence on her part. I am at the point of serious burn out and have since quit my family. They were upset of course but at this point I don't care too much. I will miss the kids dearly but it's what's best for my sanity and hopefully they'll realize how great they had it when I was there.

Its unfortunate that your friends. The good thing is this will be a true test of the stregnth of you friendship. You need to look out for yourself and work to set some boundaries. I recommend you look at websites that give drafts of nanny contracts. Use those to come up with your own boundaries. Really, you are still an employee as a live in nanny. Legally you should be paid no less than minimum wage per hour you work, and you should be paid overtime for any hours worked over 40 hours.

If your so called friend cannot handle the fact that you need time for yourself, and clear boundaries in your professional life then quite frankly she is no friend at all and I recommend you find another job asap. There are good people out there to work for!

-Morgan

Same thing occurred with me when I was young. The husband would often stay home from work - to golf - rather then take the baby - and I was doing them a favor for practically free until they found out what options they had.

I am a SAHM who works evening and I'm looking for someone to help out, but nothing like that. My husband's schedule doesn't allow for him to help out at all. His schedule and his addiction to World of Warcraft.

In fact, I'm thinking of becoming a licensed childcare provider and starting a childcare out of my home and looking for someone to help and split up the money. And then, if the person is living in, to share with some chores maybe save gas by shopping together.

My husband prefers shopping at Walmart and I like going to Sunflower Market (a whole foods store - but much cheaper then others) but he doesn't like going to two places - and I've never driven. If anyone knows anyone interested in this kind of thing - who can pass the background check the state requieres for a childcare provider please email me! Or write back here.

I want to thank you all for your comments (I am original poster). As an update I no longer work for those people. I was being asked way too much of what a nanny should be required to do. In the end I wasn't "walking on water" as the SAHM had asked. She thought she'd "scare" me by telling me to leave and that she'd help me pack my things the next morning. I said I would take her up on that. So I packed up and moved out the next morning. When packing though, SAHM had the gall to yell at me saying I was being immature and unprofessional about not granting her 2 weeks notice for her to find suitable replacement. My statment to that was "You fired me..." and kept packing. She then said I should at least give her the rest of the day and I repeated myself "you fired me, what more do you want?". Then she tried to guilt me into watching the 2 sick children so she could drive the healthy child to school. I didn't even stop packing or say a thing. She stood there trying to guilt and bully me into doing it her way. But like I told her "She fired me". So I've been out of that for a long while. I dearly miss the children. Unfortunately the SAHM has issues that need to be worked through. I wish her only good things.

Good for you!!!

I am the nanny for 3 children. The mom is home during the day while the dad works. The mom leaves for work; the dad comes home two hours later; then i leave. I watch a 1,3, and 5 yr. old. The 5 yr. old attends preschool MTWR, and the 3 year old attends daycare Tuesday and thursday. Then on fridays, everyone is off. I mainly watch just the baby. But the mom goes out and shops all day, and goes to "chiropractor apt after chiropractor apt" I love watching the beautiful baby, and the other two are ok; a bit of a handful lol. But i do love them. i only get paid 150 weekly. I am not allowed to take the kids anywhere...and instead am confined to the house all day where there is NOTHING to do except watch t.v. and eat...literallly. lol. And the mom is ok with that. When the two older children are home, they want to eat junk food every 5 minutes...and she lets them do that. When i try to correct them, she interferes and says "ill get it for you, honey just hold on" So i am stuck. Also, the mom talked about other nannies and how they wanted to be able to take the children to parks and other activities....the mom said "no! thats MY job to take the children places!" sooo i guess really what im saying is ...am i really a nanny for this fam? or just a sitter? I have no say in what the children do, they make me work until the very last mminute when im supposed to be getting off...which is fine and all for me..except for the dad is home and doing stuff with the kids...then i grab my keys (in the beginning they told me whenever he got home i could leave) So then he talks to me..or tells me to wait..until exactly the minute where i should be leaving. Should i stay with this fam?

Boy, it sounds similar to the situtation I found myself in a yr ago (The origianl poster is here again, haha). I think what you may want to do is first off re-post what you posted under my post, so others can see/find it. Next is you need to really think hard about what you want to say/see accomplished by talking to this fam about your situation. If they really want you there (not using you) they should be open to hearing whats on your mind and your ideas. For my situation, as hard as it was, I didn't change a thing I did with the children even though it got harder and harder to be around the mother. I made sure I took care of this kids as if they were my own. Please do not let the one or both of the parents guilt you into doing something you do not want to do. If it means you needing to leave/quit then do so, even if it means moving back w/ your parents or whatever your situation.
The issue with the mom saying it's her job/position to take the kids places (sounds very simlar to what my SAHM said) then so be it, bite the bullet and just keep the kids hapy at home. You are seeing the true colors of mom, and she's taking all the credit of YOUR hard work with the kids at home. Keep your chin up and stay positive. Just to forwarn you, it could possibly end ugly, but if so don't let it get you down.

Wow I guess I am offering a great deal then so I am not sure why I havent been able to find a live in Nanny. I am a SAHM and I am looking for a live in so I dont think its that weird. BUT I am not looking for a slave, see I have a 3 month old baby and holding him and cleaning the house is really hard so I am actually looking for someone to just help me hold my baby, go around town running errands with me and play with my kiddos after they get out of school. Basically a big sister, we offer only $150 a week but free room and board, 2 vacations a year, weekends and evenings off. Plus we want someone to come along with us on all our trips, play dates, outings and other stuff we do as a family. I am so sorry BlueOcean that you are getting over worked for your pay.

some1sospecial78@aol.com

Hi, I do agree you are offering a great deal! The thing that makes it a great deal is that you said straight-forward what you are looking for/needing in a nanny. As long as it stays the way of what your looking for I don't see any issues. My issue was I was seriously over worked for what a live-in nanny should do. I was basically the SAHM for this family and the mother never set foot in the main level of the house. I did EVERYTHING that had to be done. It's different if it's your own family, don't get me wrong. Sadly the mother never connected with her kids on a daily basis.
I wish you all the best in finding a nanny, I know they will be happy with what you are offering in the position. Good luck!

If you didn't sign a contract, then that should make it really easy for you to leave. Do that; LEAVE!

hi i need a little advice im 18 years old and i live on my own. im a part time nanny. i started back in december of 2010 and when i signed up for the job the mom told me i would be getting 60 dollers a day and 3 days off a week. well a month after i started the dad lost his job and got rehired at a not so well paying job. when the mom handed me my work scheduale i noticed i was only schedualed for 3 days a week. they are a really great family and i enjoy my job and working for them very much. i never signed a contract saying that was my set days to work in the beginning but it was verbally said. i have bills and rent to pay and those 4 extra days i lost are really doing a number on me. should i speak up or would it be wrong because i know the family i work for is struggling to since the dad doesnt recieve the pay he was originaly getting when i was first hired...how do i go about asking for a raise or more days?