Benefits for a nanny

I have a wonderful nanny for my two girls for about 5 weeks now. When hired I told her I would pay her holiday pay (the 6 main holidays - New Years Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving & Christmas). I also told her I would pay her 5 paid days every calendar year to be used for sick and/or vacation; however I told her the times when we took a vacation they would be at no pay. Now we have yet to take a vacation and very, very rarely do we ever take a full week at a time (we may take two days here and there to make for a long weekend). Since she started I have given her a few "perks" such as gift cards to restaurants, small gifts from the kids, the day AFTER Thanksgiving paid even though it wasn't originally in the agreement. But now that we are going on vacation for 2 weekdays during December I feel a bit guilty that she won't be paid. Should I feel guilty? She knew in the beginning that she wouldn't be paid for them. And it's not like we will be taking many days of vacation after this - like I said it's even rare that we go on vacation since we're so strapped for cash anyway. My husband & I don't make very much money. I already pay our nanny half of what I make at my job - literally. My husbands hours at work have decreased to half of what he usually works which means he's earning half of what he used to. Any advice?

I totally believe in treating people the way you want to be treated.

Having a nanny in your home means you are welcoming someone into your very personal daily/nightly life/space. You are trusting someone to care for and protect your two girls while you and your husband are not around. Is what you would pay her for those two days worth showing her how much you appreciate her? Or, because she is new, do you want to set that standard that she may then always expect?

Money and material things do not define us. I am sure (from personal experience) that as time goes by, she will go above and beyond what she said she would do for you and your children and not send you an itemized billing of her extra time. If you can afford to pay her, I would. You obviously would feel a lot better about it and that money will make its way back to you 1000x over through the flow of "paying it forward" !

Or, take her with you!

You have many great points and agree with all of them.

As far as showing how much we appreciate her I think we already do that by giving her the gift cards, small gifts from the kids and paying her a day of holiday pay that wasn't originally agreed upon. Also, I didn't mention that there are many days that we ask her to come later or we get home hours before her end time and still pay her the "set" salary.

Two reasons why I'm skeptical about paying her for the 2 days... 1. We are very much strapped for cash and could use the money to pay a bill. I mean when I say we're strapped for cash I mean as far as trying to even pay the mortgage on time. And #2 - yes, I don't want to set a precedant where she thinks that we would pay her for something that wasn't originally agreed upon. I think the extra bonus holiday or bonus off day or whatever is really just a bonus and a kind way of showing that she is appreciated.

I think I will just somehow relay the message that times are tough right now and with my husband's hours cut nearly in half that it's hard just to afford the little things nowadays.

If you have not discussed this issue at all with her, I personally would NOT bring up any excuse or rationalization or reason why you have decided NOT to do something she is NOT expecting you to do. Know what I mean? I would simply tell her (remind her) of your "x" number of vacation days for your family, you are taking two of them now. Period. I would not tell her how tough times are - she'll wonder how you can afford to go anywhere for any length of time! (And forget about going to get your hair done or buying a new pair of shoes, she'll remember what you said about "times are tough right now"!) Just mark down on some calendar for both of your records - that you are taking "two" of the 14 (or whatever) vacation days for this year. No need for an explanation regarding payment, no need for guilt!

Plus, I am sure you were planning on giving her something for the holiday - a candle or bubble bath or a bound blank book (journal) - so that will also be an unexpected "bonus" for her.

Post Script: I would use that money you were going to pay her to actually PAY THAT BILL! You will really feel good about it then!

Thanks for the input - you are right. And believe me, that money is alreay made out to the mortgage company.

You brought up a gift for the holiday. What is a nice gift for a nanny? I'm pretty much someone who likes to do more sentimental gifts - like something from the kids or something they made - a picture of them etc. But I don't want to be cheap either. For someone in my shoes who would like to do just that (senitmental gift and non-cheapo gift) what would be some good ideas?

I think a picture of your nanny with the girls (and pets if you have any!) inside a blank bound book would be an awesome gift! Any art store sells hardbound blank books for sketching - I use them for writing, drawing, pasting stuff I want to save, etc.! I like the size that is the traditional size of notebook paper, or typing paper, but with NO LINES in it - so she would be totally free to doodle and journal her thoughts and experiences with your family without being bound by lines!

I am a nanny in Oklahoma City and some of the perks I have received over the years from different families have been gift cards to the mall, gift card to the movies, cash, one family gave me a very nice watch when I left thatfamily. One family I worked for had lots of money and was able to give me expensive clothing, they even once game me a Kitchen Aid electric stand mixer. It just depends on the family the nanny and how much money you have to spend. A really nice perk would be a few days off each year with pay.

I own a nanny placement agency south of boston, in my opinion the nanny should be paid for any vacation days your family takes. Many are strapped for cash right now, probably including your nanny. If you want your nanny to stay with your family you should treat her like nanny jobs should be treated, as real jobs. If your work closed for the day you would still get paid. Hopefully this helps

I would like to be a Nanny/Manny. I do have experince and a degree. I am near Orland Park, IL. For more infomation or thoughts contact me.

mygirls in Chicago, Illinois said: I have a wonderful nanny for my two girls for about 5 weeks now. When hired I told her I would pay her holiday pay (the 6 main holidays - New Years Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving & Christmas). I also told her I would pay her 5 paid days every calendar year to be used for sick and/or vacation; however I told her the times when we took a vacation they would be at no pay. Now we have yet to take a vacation and very, very rarely do we ever take a full week at a time (we may take two days here and there to make for a long weekend). Since she started I have given her a few "perks" such as gift cards to restaurants, small gifts from the kids, the day AFTER Thanksgiving paid even though it wasn't originally in the agreement. But now that we are going on vacation for 2 weekdays during December I feel a bit guilty that she won't be paid. Should I feel guilty? She knew in the beginning that she wouldn't be paid for them. And it's not like we will be taking many days of vacation after this - like I said it's even rare that we go on vacation since we're so strapped for cash anyway. My husband & I don't make very much money. I already pay our nanny half of what I make at my job - literally. My husbands hours at work have decreased to half of what he usually works which means he's earning half of what he used to. Any advice?

In a down economy tell her she/he should be happy to have a job.