Wondering what to do!

Hello, I have a situation I would like advice on. I work for a family who has the most beautiful little boy in the whole world! I really, truly adore that child, and his father, but I cannot seem to get anything going with his mother. I have nanny'ed before and I was always able to bond with the mother, and feel like part of the household (and eventually the family) and feel comfortable, but at this house, I feel like the help (which I am, and I know I am, so I hope you can understand the difference). I don't feel like I can be myself. I feel like I am walking on eggshells and just straight up uncomfortable. We are NOT meshing well at all. I am treated like a straight up employee, and this woman has another part time employee when I can't be there who is treated like a friend, and gets to borrow the car, and hang out at "sleepovers" (to which I am not invited, not that I would go) and everything.

Now, I have only been there since February, and she has known the other girl longer, so maybe it needs more time, but in previous jobs, by now, I really felt okay with the relationship with the mother, and I just don't here. I was talking with her husband who is searching for a job here because they moved from another state, and I was making conversation asking him how it was going, and she just butted in and told me to zip it (not in those words, but she did the flat hand across the throat action) I felt angry and like a total fool.

I don't feel positive toward this woman at all, and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to quit because I love that baby and really want to be a part of his life, and he lights up whenever he sees me. I also don't want to quit because I have never quit a nanny job before, and I really want to make things work. But I am beginning to feel the slow burn of resentment toward the mother, and can't help but feel that if I don't do something, this won't be good. Any advice?

If you have done everything you can to bond with her and she choses not to then you will have little choice - you will have to quit. You could try suggesting a sleepover or a family outing with you and the boy to get you all bonding. Ply her with alcohol over a meal and get her to loosen up!! If that fails - she just dislikes you because you are not her and then I would get out of there.