To all male bartenders, please help? (girl that has a crush on a bartender)

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Comments (6)

mfl109 in San Diego, California

47 months ago

I have no idea whether or not I was purely rejected... i was beginning to get tipsy at the bar in a club and i started chatting with one of the bartenders that served me... he was a sweetheart and i asked him a genuine question about tip because i had just turned 21 and i wanted to know how to properly tip well cause i didnt know what was appropriate, he helped me and we talked a bit more and then i started telling him that i thought he was so cute and that it wasnt just beer goggles. he said "thats the first time anyones told me that its not just beer goggles" he said i was a sweetheart and he said i was an angel but i think thats bullcrap right? :( i am very nice though but still, wait till you hear the rest cause it gets worse and its so embarrassing. i begin to cry and sit on the floor and him and the other bartenders give me a free bottle of water and ask if im okay and to not sit on the floor because its dirty, and i walk behind the bar and stuff tip in all 3 of their pockets. none of them wanted to accept it but i pushed it in there anyway and gave each of them like 2 bucks tip. the bar manager then comes to comfort me and take me away and all of them are on the lookout for me and ask me if im feeling okay and hands me free mini bottles of water throughout the night. i ask the bar manager why theyre taking care of me and he says its his job to find out why i went behind the bar that night because that wasnt really supposed to happen. i told him that it wasnt any of their fault and that i had invaded myself in even though they warned me not to come behind the bar and he said he appreciated that i told him but he just needed to know and find out later on. then i asked him about the bartender that i was into and that i was upset about him and the barmanager told me that he was married and had a kid. later on i went back and asked him and he said the barmanager must have just been joking around because he wasnt married and held up his hands.. (cont in next reply)

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mfl109 in San Diego, California

47 months ago

to show he had no ring on. i began to ask him if he was interested in me and if he could just tell me and if we could talk on the phone and exchange numbers but he said his manager was right over there and that he'd get in trouble. i then did the WALK OF SHAME out of there. haha. it was...sad and sooo disgraceful. i am humiliated,,,, and i need a dear fellow bartender man's advice and honest input on what really happened. sigh :(

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mary in Tampa, Florida

47 months ago

You're 21 now, not 16. GROW UP.

You "solicited" a man who was at work. That is surely not even playing ground. If he had been a patron in the bar, it is assumed you are both there for the same thing.

Probably every single girl that comes in there is attracted to him. Your actions could have gotten that bartender fired. That's the input.

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brandee in Broomfield, Colorado

46 months ago

mfl109.....most bartenders, servers or bar workers will not wear a ring.....whether it is to use to their advantage or not. this could have happened at the book store or the grocery store.

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Male Bartender for 9yrs in Jersey City, New Jersey

44 months ago

Hi-- As a bartender I would say, dont take it the wrong way... just cause he is not wearing a ring does not mean he is not taken or in a serious relationship. There will be times when a female bartender may find a bartender attractive and want to take him home. The best way for bartender not to be rude and still have respect for his significant other is by say "my manager is watching and I am not allowed to do that" ... by bluntly stating that he is in a relationship will turn the customer off and cause the customer to never go back which in turn will still get the bartender in trouble by the manager because its bad for business...especially at a club. He can genuinely be nice to you but dont take it the wrong way if they brush you off with "my manager is watching"

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scooterguy97 in Costa Mesa, California

36 months ago

I've been bartending for 18 years and have always dated women that were cool with the fact that I'm nice to everyone and I flirt for a living. The bartender is ALWAYS the most popular guy in the bar. From your story, sitting on the floor, going behind the bar, being offered water? Not normal behavior for a bar patron. How much did you have to drink that night? Your not the first woman to hit on him and wont be the last. The other bartender pegged it right when he said that lots of us dont wear rings at work. Always best to APPEAR to be available WITHOUT really being available! Makes a difference at the end of the night when you stuff that wad of cash in your pocket. As for tipping...On your first drink drop the bartender a ten spot on your first drink and every drink after that will be made before even YOU know you're ready. You'll have his attention and he'll certainly reciprocate on the generosity. Never tip less than $1.00 per drink but also keep in mind the price of what you're drinking. A tip for good service should never be less than 20%.

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