Unappreciated Assistants?

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no patience for me in Santa Maria, California

82 months ago

I am currently working for a DDS, and I completely understand. I thought I had self confidence, but after working for a month as a dental assisting, the confidence has begun to crack. I got hired with no experience and after a month I am the only one proud of what I have learned. The doctor has no patience for me, yells at me in front of patients,belittles me then tells me not to take it personally and the other assistant gets annoyed when I ask her questions about the procedures or instruments. They both make me feel like I am the slowest learning individual in the world and that both of them think that I should have learned all this already. I dont know what to do? any advice.......

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cherie in Walnut Creek, California

82 months ago

Jenny in New Port Richey, Florida said: I started my own business and have never been happier!

I also started my own business with my husband too, wondering what business you are in?! I have been able to overlap it as a healthcare provider with the same standards. I still work at a dental office, same one for ten years, but I am transitioning into the business (that everyone can do by the way!) to try and stay home too. It is ideal and after being very upset everyday leaving work.....it is my exit strategy. I am still there but not mentally! You give everything to a job and still get crapped on, it's unbelievable. I was extremely depressed and in my first year of marriage I knew I needed to get happy for him and for myself. I LIVED for my job and now I pray every night to get out of it with our new business. I still work with professional people, but they appreciate me and my opportunity I deliver to them and their own businesses. I cry every time I think of going back to my job (yes everyday)...but if you have an exit strategy you will be happy just knowing that. I will be happy soon.......

clt
cherietschudi@hotmail.com

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M.J in Wallingford, Connecticut

82 months ago

diane in Sarasota, Florida said: I am in complete agreement with you. However, remember that it the dentist that is taking all of the risks in owning the business. And it is only a business, never forget that. Do not ever think about looking for the practice that will treat you like a family member because who would want to be treated like some of the ways a family treats each other? Think about it!
Respect is a shared thing from the top down and from the bottom up.
No difference

That may be true but if they were professionals then they would treat everyone with respect and not contempt.

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Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario

82 months ago

I used to dream of unionizing dental assistants.

Old Asst

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ma1 in Seaside Heights, New Jersey

82 months ago

Yes, it's pretty obvious we need some type of "union" developed simply because there are so many dental assistants available out there and these arrogant dentists know it...if someone doesn't get along with them they can always be replaced since there is such a mass production of assistants becoming cda,rda,now ef, are wanted by some dentists and their wanting to hire people with that as well. Let's face it the nurses out there took a stand and there became a shortage of nurses because the 'good ones" were simply not appreciated, underpaid, worked longer hours with nothing but a "thank you" (like my last "El Cheapo" boss and you had to take the dds's crap all day and the occasional pain in butt patient.

So yes, unionizing would be an excellent option, something has to make these "dentists" think before lash out at us etc. We all become assistants because we like/love our job....Don't get me wrong...money's nice too...but we all know most dentists become dentists for the $$$$$. Certainly, that is not the assistant's goal...Dentists do need a "wake up" call! It's ridiculous how many GP jobs are out there. I'm sure not with the economy the dentists are getting rid of their high paid stuff, if that still exists for cheaper labor..
MA1

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EleKtra in Los Angeles, California

82 months ago

no patience for me in Santa Maria, California said: I am currently working for a DDS, and I completely understand. I thought I had self confidence, but after working for a month as a dental assisting, the confidence has begun to crack. I got hired with no experience and after a month I am the only one proud of what I have learned. The doctor has no patience for me, yells at me in front of patients,belittles me then tells me not to take it personally and the other assistant gets annoyed when I ask her questions about the procedures or instruments. They both make me feel like I am the slowest learning individual in the world and that both of them think that I should have learned all this already. I dont know what to do? any advice.......

Amiga, sorry to hear that, in the first place they hired you knowing you had not experience at all, it is understandable that you are still very confused with so many things, one month is not enough to learn everything, it will take time, actually takes time for a DA to get used to a new place even though shes DA every office is different, much more in your case. I think you should evaluate if you like it or not, its not nice when a dentist yells at you specially in front of other persons and that is not professional either. If you like working as DA or not but is only thing you can do now, find the strenght to go on and try learning from the easiest things. You could take pictures with a digital camera on the set ups other assistants do so you don't have to struggle that much remembering what are the instruments or materials the doc is going to use, that will help you in the beggining. Thats what I suggested to my new co-worker and it helps, cause when I am bussy she can come and by seeing the pic in her cam she can set up for something while I am bussy. Also try not to assist on hard procedures, better help with something thats easy to you like assisting in cleanings, doing instruments, maybe take x-rays, etc...

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MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York

82 months ago

I have 25 years in assisting, mostly oral surgery,some general dentisting. Oral surgery is the best, you get a great medical background,and assisting in anesthesia keeps you on your toes. I too was paid not nearly enough. I loved my job,unfortunately there were many bad experiences. Doctors who didn't appreciate me,or ever compliment my work. I have never seen many women who were so catty to each other. Many times I have left a job not due to the Dr, but because of the other employees.I guess I am from the old school where you learn that respect, cooperation,helpfulness can make or break a job.
Unfortunately, the only thing I gained working looong hours,standing in surgery,dealing with difficult patients,was a total of 6 spinal surgeries(neck and back). New assistants don't yet realize this is a very physically demanding position.
I am now only 43 and unable to work. The chronic pain that I deal with every day is a reminder about my job, good, and bad.
I am now on social security disability, can't walk very far, have no strength in my left arm,and are on multiple anti-depressants, pain killers,and spend much time in Doctor's office.
You can tell that dental assisting is still in my blood, I still educate people about dentistry,and notice people's teeth constantly.That shows I am still connected to it.
New assistants...beware! You can't even begin to contemplate all that is involved in this field. I would never recommend dental assisting for a career. It destroyed my quality of life, and my inability to ever work again. Think twice, and don't let older more experienced coworkers dominate you,they were once in your position remember? You may be lucky and find an assistant who will take you under their wing and teach you all the things that you don't learn in school.I mentored several new assistants,and it was very rewarding.
Good luck to all new grads,and to all assistants just starting out. donnajeanmcwhite@yahoo.com

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stacyrandolph in troy, Illinois

82 months ago

Fed up RDA in San Jose, California said: I think after 5 years i'm trowing in the towel. I'm not really seeking advice, but more or less wondering if I am alone in my struggle. I started out head of my class back in 2003 when I was 22. I interned with a young DDS that became my BFF, I was excited and happy about helping people, and felt wanted. That did not last very long. When I went out in the field I was met with dissapointment after disapointment. I worked for egotistical, rude, and stingy doctors. Doctors that never said a simple thank you, doctors that blamed me when things went wrong(especially when it was their fualt) I worked for people more interested in going to play golf than adhere to a better standard of care. I worked for nut jobs who pushed their religious and philosphical views on their employees. I worked for doctors that played favorites with the assistants.(One doctor did a receptionists veneers for free and gave her a 3 dollar pay raise, when everyone else got nothing.) People who yelled at me, who wouldn't take me seriously, who were racist, and underpaid their employees. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think i'm a good assistant, i've taken numerous classes, i've always been interested in learning as much as I can, I can do ZOOM! and I even know how to design crowns with CEREC. I love the patients. I am very organized, I often introduce easy systems of organization and inventory control, I am very proactive. I've never taken a vacation day or sick day in five years. I'm unfortunatly very strong willed, and I confront doctors when I think something is unfair. I have been "let go of" as many times as the amount of years I have worked. I am over it. I am unemployed and in college again, starting from scratch on a BioChemistry degree at near 28 years old. I never want to work for another rude dentist ever again. I don't mean to complain, I know that there are people who love assisting, I just wonder if anyone else ha

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stacyrandolph in troy, Illinois

82 months ago

I am also a Dental asst. and I am thinking of going to school to be a Sonographer but everyone is saying I shouldn't because it's hard to find a job and i also have been thinking about being a dental hygienist. I can not decide. I am sick of dentists. They treat us like crap and they do not pay us enough. Hopefully things get better. I have worked for some pretty mean dentists.

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Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario

82 months ago

Hi,

I think the Dental Assistants are abused much like thet foreign, live-in nannies and could be exposed in the same way which would lead to better working conditions.

It is through the efforts of people like 60 minutes and W5 that the world became aware of their plight and things began to change. Perhaps the same technique could be used on them till they cleaned up their act?

You/they'd have to consult a lawyer first though - fuzzy out the faces and all. Perhaps only an audio tape?

Ha! I just realized, if I was still working for this one dentist, I could put the camera up my skirt because that's where his hand or knee always went - half way up my thigh, under my dress. Imagine the image? Hahaha.

I began wearing pants only, but it didn't matter - he just felt more comfortable fully pinning my left leg to the chair with his right leg. I was trapped. Pig.

Seriously, it's time for dentists to be exposed for the cruel and abusive employers they so often are.

The profession needs to be cleaned up - at least of the real abusers. Anyone have any ideas?

Old Asst in Barrie

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MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York

82 months ago

I would love to see a documentary showing what really goes on in dental offices. Patients deserve to know exactly how the staff is treated. Dentists are so two-faced....polite, smiling,friendly to pts, and rude,hurtful, and condescending to their staff. Do patients really want to receive treatment from this type of person? A very wise oral surgeon I used to work for used to say "a Dr.can only be as good as his dental assistant,they have so much influence on a practice"
Too bad they don't all realize this. Try calling in sick one day and see how he panics!! Assistants everywhere stand united!!!

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MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York

82 months ago

Stacy,
Hygiene jobs sound rewarding....but investigate it further,talk to people who are hygienists. My experience has shown that it is virtually impossible to find.(cheapo dentists would rather pay 2 hygienists for the week, than have to pay 1 and give her benefits,as well as health insurance. When times get tough moneywise in an office, they are the first to go...dentists need assistants and front desk people,but the dentist can do his own patient cleanings. Scraping crap off people's teeth ,many of whom have never seen a toothbrush, can get pretty boring all day long,and many are under pressure to sell various dental items and procedures and get paid on commission. At least in assisting you are doing different procedures. Not that I recommend to anyone to be a dental assistant, just pointing out that hygienists don't necessarilly have it much better.
(former Cda/COMSA for 25 years)

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

82 months ago

MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York said: Stacy,
Hygiene jobs sound rewarding....but investigate it further,talk to people who are hygienists. My experience has shown that it is virtually impossible to find.(cheapo dentists would rather pay 2 hygienists for the week, than have to pay 1 and give her benefits,as well as health insurance. When times get tough moneywise in an office, they are the first to go...dentists need assistants and front desk people,but the dentist can do his own patient cleanings. Scraping crap off people's teeth ,many of whom have never seen a toothbrush, can get pretty boring all day long,and many are under pressure to sell various dental items and procedures and get paid on commission. At least in assisting you are doing different procedures. Not that I recommend to anyone to be a dental assistant, just pointing out that hygienists don't necessarilly have it much better.
(former Cda/COMSA for 25 years)

Are you working in a different field now? I was considering dental assiting/dental hygiene but I am not so sure now...

Thanks

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stacyrandolph in troy, Illinois

82 months ago

Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina said: Are you working in a different field now? I was considering dental assiting/dental hygiene but I am not so sure now...

Thanks

well i haven't assistant in a few years cause we moved to Italy and my husband is in the Air force. we are moving to scott AFb in Illinois and I have to find a job so I was thinking of dental asst again. It's Ok if you can find a good dentist. I have been thinking of DH or being a sonographer. I would pick Dh over assisting any day:) Hope that helped!

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

82 months ago

Stacy Randolph in troy, Illinois said: well i haven't assistant in a few years cause we moved to Italy and my husband is in the Air force. we are moving to scott AFb in Illinois and I have to find a job so I was thinking of dental asst again. It's Ok if you can find a good dentist. I have been thinking of DH or being a sonographer. I would pick Dh over assisting any day:) Hope that helped!

:) Thanks for the reply... I heard sonography is a good field. I think DH may be the way to go or maybe radiologic technologist.

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stacyrandolph in troy, Illinois

82 months ago

Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina said: :) Thanks for the reply... I heard sonography is a good field. I think DH may be the way to go or maybe radiologic technologist.

I would love to be a DH since I already was a dental asst. But i am now hearing everyone wants to be a DH. SO I just want to make sure I can find a job after I finish the school. I think DH would be easier then going to school to be a sonographer. I heard it is very hard. I can not decide...

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

82 months ago

Stacy Randolph in troy, Illinois said: I would love to be a DH since I already was a dental asst. But i am now hearing everyone wants to be a DH. SO I just want to make sure I can find a job after I finish the school. I think DH would be easier then going to school to be a sonographer. I heard it is very hard. I can not decide...

That is true. I know a friend went to school to be a DH (she already was an assistant)and she graduated in May and she only works 2 days a week. I dont know what to do. So confusing :)

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Annette in Melbourne, Florida

82 months ago

Dental Hygiene may not be the solution to your situation. My friends that went on to hygiene paid more money for school only to find that jobs were even harder to find, few hours, no benefits, and still worker for mean dentists and/or staff. They thought they would be treated better but found the woman were catty or treated them like an outsider and the Dentists were such egomaniacs that they found a more "educated woman" intimidating-they think of woman as "little girls" and expect them to behave that way. Also,many hygienists found the work more monotonous and physically wearing on the body. Given the present state of our economy, I would recommend seeking training and education in another field that would have better employment opportunities than dentistry.

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

81 months ago

Annette in Melbourne, Florida said: Dental Hygiene may not be the solution to your situation. My friends that went on to hygiene paid more money for school only to find that jobs were even harder to find, few hours, no benefits, and still worker for mean dentists and/or staff. They thought they would be treated better but found the woman were catty or treated them like an outsider and the Dentists were such egomaniacs that they found a more "educated woman" intimidating-they think of woman as "little girls" and expect them to behave that way. Also,many hygienists found the work more monotonous and physically wearing on the body. Given the present state of our economy, I would recommend seeking training and education in another field that would have better employment opportunities than dentistry.

Thank you for your comments. I am beginning to think the same thing. I just dont know what area I want to go into :) Are you a DA or DH?

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Annette in Melbourne, Florida

81 months ago

Ashley,
I have been a dental assistant for 27 years, working in private and group practices and for the military, state and social services that provide healthcare. I considered hygiene after my 5th year of assisting than later considered persuing a career as a dental lab tech. I continued my education and now have a very rewarding social service position and just assist temp and part time for the enjoyment of dentistry and patient care that I still have. I plan on continuing my education in several different directions. You are still young and I would recommend that you explore many career options -- you have talent and skills in more areas than you may realize. You are a good person- don't ever let yourself get caught up in some toxic dental office drama that breaks you down spiritually, physically, and emotionally.There are some good offices out there but they are harder to find because staff does not turn over in these offices. Continue to network, do volunteer work, work part time positions outside dentistry, take classes, and surround yourself with good people so that your life is healthy and happy-- continue to nurture your self esteem so that you don't find yourself feeling "stuck" in a bad situation with no way out of it.

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MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York

81 months ago

I agree completely with the last posting. After 25 years in the field as a CDA,I could count on one hand the number of hygienists that had full time employment and the benefits that go with that. It is virtually impossible to find. Stingy dentists can hire 2 hygienists and rotate the days they work to avoid paying benefits.Beware also of the dentists who make you work entirely on commission, if your day full of patients cancels out,what can you do,and you'd still have to stay for your full shift in case you have late in the day pts, and can't get them to come in sooner. Dentists now dump the whole recall system of 6 month cleanings in the hands of the hygienists,used to be an asst job. I was always happy to help out some hygienists if they got behind,clean their room,and instruments and restock, and they would do the same for me...it's called teamwork!! But the hygienists coming out of school now seem to have a snotty attitude, think they are too good to touch a dirty instrument and refuse to pitch in and help. That makes for a long, miserable day and hard feelings between staff members.
That said, think about it very carefully before you spend all that money on school. Personally, if I were still in this field, I would change to medical assistant, radiology tech, surgical tech, or phlebotomist. Health care is a growing field and these jobs will be in demand. You want your employment to be a profession you love,not just a job.(physically you will be destroyed doing hygiene) I should know...I'm now on full soc sec disability and in chronic pain after 6 spinal surgeries, the result of dental assisting.At 42 my career is over and I'll never be able to work again. Hygienists have it even worse.Hope this helps you decide.
Former CDA and COMSA for 25 years.

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

81 months ago

Annette in Melbourne, Florida said: Ashley,
I have been a dental assistant for 27 years, working in private and group practices and for the military, state and social services that provide healthcare. I considered hygiene after my 5th year of assisting than later considered persuing a career as a dental lab tech. I continued my education and now have a very rewarding social service position and just assist temp and part time for the enjoyment of dentistry and patient care that I still have. I plan on continuing my education in several different directions. You are still young and I would recommend that you explore many career options -- you have talent and skills in more areas than you may realize. You are a good person- don't ever let yourself get caught up in some toxic dental office drama that breaks you down spiritually, physically, and emotionally.There are some good offices out there but they are harder to find because staff does not turn over in these offices. Continue to network, do volunteer work, work part time positions outside dentistry, take classes, and surround yourself with good people so that your life is healthy and happy-- continue to nurture your self esteem so that you don't find yourself feeling "stuck" in a bad situation with no way out of it.

Thank you so much for your comment :) What did you decide to go to school for? I am glad that you have found a rewarding career :)

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Ashley in Fayetteville, North Carolina

81 months ago

MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York said:
That said, think about it very carefully before you spend all that money on school. Personally, if I were still in this field, I would change to medical assistant, radiology tech, surgical tech, or phlebotomist. Health care is a growing field and these jobs will be in demand. You want your employment to be a profession you love,not just a job.(physically you will be destroyed doing hygiene) I should know...I'm now on full soc sec disability and in chronic pain after 6 spinal surgeries, the result of dental assisting.At 42 my career is over and I'll never be able to work again. Hygienists have it even worse.Hope this helps you decide.
Former CDA and COMSA for 25 years.

I completely agree that I want employment to be in a profession that I love. I have been thinking that DA nor DH would be good for me since I have rods in my spine from scoliosis 12 years ago. I have heard alot of people say how much pain they have been in from DA/DH. I have thought about radiology tech.

Thank You :)

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cherie in Walnut Creek, California

81 months ago

This helps! I always think "what if" about Hygiene...I have been an assistant for 12 years and ten of those were with the same office. I continue to work there and be the only full time employee. Of course now when the office is going from three rotating doc's to only one butthole doc, I am experiencing cut backs. Now this actually comes at a great time though. My husband and I have been looking for a way to supplement my income with the thought of children coming in the future. I looked for part time jobs so that I could be home more, and I thought of going back to school too. But we started a business and I really wish we would have done it sooner to be honest. In less than two months I have gone from full time and busting my butt for an jerk...to only two days a week in the office. The best part is on my off days I actually make more from home than the days of dental assisting. It is life changing and good thing we did it because the cutbacks are coming but instead...when he brought me in his office and explained the changes in the office...I simply said "that's great because I am cutting back anyway"...hahahahah....you should've seen his face!!!!

I can tell you about my new business that has integrated DDS's and physicians and all other walks of life.... Except now...they actually appreciate me and value my services! Anyone can join our business which is awesome because I have helped a few hygienists and dental professionals GET OUT of there crappy offices and live a life that is happy......whew!

Cherie

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helenda in san francisco, California

81 months ago

Hi,
I am looking for a job from home.I am a dental assistant.I have been working in the same office for almost 9 years.My boss always complemented me when I am around.Last year his office started slowing down,he approached me and informed me that I am too expensive and I am going to go first.He said that he needs office manager to collect the money and his floater is terrible, but she will stay because she is very loyal to him.His office started picking up, he told me that he wants me to stay with him for a long time.Year after it's slow again.I am tired and I am looking for supplemental income.Any suggestions.
Thanks.

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cherie in Walnut Creek, California

81 months ago

Helenda......

I have been EXACTLY through what you have been though, I promise you that. I have recently told my office or ten years that I am tired of it. It was really hard for me to do since I have so emotion tied into the office...but I am so sick of teh roller coaster ride. I too am one of the highest paid and the one they say would have to cut days since I am the only full timer. That 's the thanks I get???!!!! So I called their bluff and told them I am cutting back anyway to two days a week only. This is only possible because we have been working on a business from home and trying to supplement my income all together. I can give you info on how you can do the same.....it is easy , very very affordable and it provides immediate income. Even if I never hear from you again...you need to know that there is a CHOICE out there for you. I promise...I have never been happier and I will never look back! here's my e mail in case you want to write me personally!

cherietschudi@hotmail.com

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Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario

81 months ago

cherie in Walnut Creek, California said: Helenda......

I have been EXACTLY through what you have been though, I promise you that. I have recently told my office or ten years that I am tired of it. It was really hard for me to do since I have so emotion tied into the office...but I am so sick of teh roller coaster ride. I too am one of the highest paid and the one they say would have to cut days since I am the only full timer. That 's the thanks I get???!!!! So I called their bluff and told them I am cutting back anyway to two days a week only. This is only possible because we have been working on a business from home and trying to supplement my income all together. I can give you info on how you can do the same.....it is easy , very very affordable and it provides immediate income. Even if I never hear from you again...you need to know that there is a CHOICE out there for you. I promise...I have never been happier and I will never look back! here's my e mail in case you want to write me personally!

cherietschudi@hotmail.com

Hi,

Did you tell the other people in the office that you had a business at home? I know that the offices I worked in the women would be jealous and used that as an excuse to back bite.

Old Asst.

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Bellechas7@*****.*** in Chicago, Illinois

81 months ago

Is this forum ACTIVE? I see the same comments over and over just being updated.

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cherie in Walnut Creek, California

81 months ago

hummm very interesting that you mention that! The othe rgals in the office new my husband and I were going into business but I mean they also knew that I am the youngest and I need to plan fo rmy future and so forth. Or so I thought?? But maybe they were upset that I did not offer fo rthem to be partners in the business too??? I gave them all free stuff though!!! haha! But you are right, jealousy is a horrible emotion...it drives people away sometimes. I have been colse to them for years and have gone though everything with them, good or bad. I mena I have been there 10 years! But you know, the true friends have been so excited for me that I have discovered a "WAY OUT".....It's not my fault they decided to be sitting ducks. Like today for a perfect example.......The jerk boss asked two gals to go home since it is slow....BUT he has done this many many days lately.......so that he doesn't have to pay us of course! So I am glad that I can go home and work on teh business and actually feel okay about that. I feel so truely blessed. I will not be a subject of games that have to do with my livelihood and $$$$$$ none the less!

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Bellechas7@*****.*** in Chicago, Illinois

81 months ago

cherie in Walnut Creek, California said: I also started my own business with my husband too, wondering what business you are in?! I have been able to overlap it as a healthcare provider with the same standards. I still work at a dental office, same one for ten years, but I am transitioning into the business (that everyone can do by the way!) to try and stay home too. It is ideal and after being very upset everyday leaving work.....it is my exit strategy. I am still there but not mentally! You give everything to a job and still get crapped on, it's unbelievable. I was extremely depressed and in my first year of marriage I knew I needed to get happy for him and for myself. I LIVED for my job and now I pray every night to get out of it with our new business. I still work with professional people, but they appreciate me and my opportunity I deliver to them and their own businesses. I cry every time I think of going back to my job (yes everyday)...but if you have an exit strategy you will be happy just knowing that. I will be happy soon.......

clt
cherietschudi@hotmail.com

What kind of business are you able to do from home?
I've been a dental assistant for thirty two years and I would love to work for myself instead. Please email me, I welcome any advise you may have.

Bellechas7@aol.com

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nervous wreck in Kingston, Ontario

69 months ago

I have been a dental assistant for 9 years and LOVED my job up until the past year. My boss decided to take a practice management course based from Scientology. Up until then he was very appreciative, caring, gentle and laid back. I couldn't have asked for a better employer, the perfect job. Around half-way through his course I noticed a big change, there was no more please or thank you's, he began to get grabby and impatient. He called me into his office one day to ask me if I was happy working in his practice because I didn't seem happy. Sure everyone has their moments and issues in life, but I have not changed anything clinically for 9 years, other than becoming more efficient. Then he sent one of our staff (a good friend of his) on the same management course, her new title is office manager. Even though she has been employed 20+ years for this practice she relies on all of us because she retains nothing in her head, and she is our boss. Now our peaceful little office is turned upside down with closed door meetings and all of our staff is getting in trouble for the littlest issues. I want to quit but keep remembering the good times and how happy we all were. Most of all I love our patients, so needless to say, I am extremely torn wondering what to do. Its too bad he tried to fix something that wasn't broken. If its a matter of money, my advice to him is to quit spending it on personal things.
My advice to anyone thinking of becoming a dental assistant is that the right boss is the key and get ready to work your buns off with very little appreciation. You will be the first one to arrive at work and the last one to leave.

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Kathy in Orlando, Florida

69 months ago

All of those "management courses" is CRAP. I'm sorry. What a jerks create them and try to put in people's heads? It's nothing wrong to say "THANK YOU" or "SORRY". I remember, when I learned Dental Assisting, a "smart a...s" there said "in Dentistry,you never say "Sorry"". Why not? It's just a part of a basic human education to be polite and appreciative. It's much more beneficial, than to be rude. Those "management courses" judge people like some kind of average beings, which,in their opinion, should act the same in the same conditions...but it's not! It's so stupid to think so. People are SO DIFFERENT. The problem of most of Bosses, that they think, that "pushing down" on employees is the KEY of success...however it doesn't work with everybody.

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Fed up RDA in Long Beach, California

69 months ago

I am the original poster for this thread: FedupRDA. I posted my original post almost 2 years ago and let me tell you: I continue in the assertion that this is not a good job for most people. I will say to you all if you are feeling unhappy about the treatment you receive as an assistant, get out now, cut your losses, no matter how many years into it you are, MOVE ON. Anyway you can. The quality of my life rapidly improved after quitting and struggling to get into school. This is not a career, it's a stop gap. I am jealous of all of you that have found a great doctor to work for, but the honest to God truth is that is like finding a needle in a haystack, the probability is low. If you've tried numerous years and failed to find someone good: leave now. You will be happier, healthier, and have self respect. I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't make that decision, but it wouldn't have been pretty. Good luck to you all. I am considering becoming a dentist myself, I would try my hardest to make the lives of my assistants better, so may be those years were not in vain. Wish me luck too I suppose.

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

69 months ago

my dds wont let me leave. I over and over try to leave ....
he says sorry please stay. what to do?

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nervous wreck in Whitby, Ontario

69 months ago

Its like an abusive relationship... they just keep saying sorry and keep on doing it...

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

69 months ago

nervous wreck in Whitby, Ontario said: Its like an abusive relationship... they just keep saying sorry and keep on doing it...

oh boy. I think he loves me. i will stay if he is good but have a hard time believing he will change.

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Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario

69 months ago

Hi, If it's like an abusive relationship, then it probably is an abusive relationship. Seek help or you will end up an emotional wreck with nothing but bitter stories to tell. Old Asst

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MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York

69 months ago

Standing side by side with an oral surgeon day after day resulted in my having a panic attack in the middle of surgery.It was MY fault he couldn't suture,my fault the patient wasn't numb,my fault for everything that went wrong. It was HIS fault we suddenly had fewer and fewer patients,empty schedules,no referals...could it be his lack of a bedside manner? Escape while you are still sane...it felt so good to finally walk out the door after 5 years,and never turn back!!

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nervous wreck in Whitby, Ontario

69 months ago

MRSDJMW in Buffalo, New York said: Standing side by side with an oral surgeon day after day resulted in my having a panic attack in the middle of surgery.It was MY fault he couldn't suture,my fault the patient wasn't numb,my fault for everything that went wrong. It was HIS fault we suddenly had fewer and fewer patients,empty schedules,no referals...could it be his lack of a bedside manner? Escape while you are still sane...it felt so good to finally walk out the door after 5 years,and never turn back!!

Imagine how hard these DDS's are on themselves if they are this hard on all of us... my boss was wonderful as an associate, until he bought the practice... add the pressure of crazy debt and a dim-witted office manager to top it off... in light of all of this the staff is against each other because of the opinion of an office manager that dusting the shelves is more important than making sure the operation of the office is running smoothly... the sad part is that the office manager and DDS are best of friends... so he trusts her more than any one of us... I am very torn...:(

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

69 months ago

I am surely the 'best friend' of the dds in the office, though I am not a slacker. Recently i have noticed a turn in behavior. I am too afraid to go into detail and put it on the internet but I am torn myself.
I know he's stressed. I am an understanding person.

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Kathy in Orlando, Florida

69 months ago

What I'm thinking about it. They're stressed, but it's their problem!!!Not assistants. Business is the business. Stressed to be a dentist? Don't be a dentist...Why should assistants pay for that and sacrifice themselves for someones businesses. I didn't sign up myself for that. Everybody is stressed.OK? So what about it? Leave your stresses at home...and other "bad stuff". Don't bring that sh...t to other people. Everybody has their lives and families at home. Why should we bring all of that "stress" to our loved ones then? Why should we break our lives then? That dentists would be happy? What kind of BS is that? I'm sorry. I want to be happy too. I'm in a dental office that to work and make my money. No more,no less. I'm not a NANNY for dentists. I "like" that expression "our office is like a family". It confuses people the most. WORK isn't FAMILY. I have my family at home, that is why I work. Don't say me, that my dentist is my family. Don't confuse business matters with personal.

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

69 months ago

Yes, I agree . Really I do. But when feelings start invading his head and then makes the work relationship complicated. He says he fights those urges, what do I do? run? or stay?

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Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario

69 months ago

Hi Smiley,

You are not responsible for his mental health. Once the boundry between a working relationship and friendship has been crossed in the work place it is not healthy.

If you want to leave and he is guilting you into staying, you've got a problem. Note, that I say 'guilt' and not 'pay raise'. There is a difference. One is emotional the other is for business.

Once the guilt starts, it doesn't go away. It becomes a weapon or tool. Sometimes it feels good to be the one who is 'wanted' the 'special' one in the office, but to get that emotion, one also has to give up ones personal respect and power - which then begins to tear us apart.

Old Asst

Old Asst.

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ilokiara in La Porte, Texas

69 months ago

Has anyone taken the 10 week course in Houston at C Mark Mann dental Assisting School, wanted to take that and know if it is legit..

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Meldee in Austin, Texas

69 months ago

Annette in Oviedo, Florida said: Dr G,
You seem very nice-- I wish I had worked for more Dentists like you in private practices. I did not mention in my letter that dental assistants over 30 are treated progressively worse and once an assistant turns 40 no one will hire her.I wish I could tell the woman on this forum that it gets better but I can not tell them a lie.I had a passion for my career in dentistry and loved the patients but could no longer make excuses, justify or cover up the Dentist's bad behavior. All I can say is hang in there ladies-- you are good and did not deserve to be treated badly. Continue to network and build support systems and continue your education in areas other than dentistry and your future will be brighter.

I am 52 and worked as a dental assistant for 9 years,20 years ago. I loved dental assisting. My dentist encouraged me to go back into assisting, stating that Dentistry needed older, mature assistants. I earned my Registration. Somehow I knew my age would be a negative factor. Reading these comments has helped me decide to go back to school for another profession.
Thanks

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IN and Out in chicago in Chicago, Illinois

68 months ago

Kathy in Orlando, Florida said: What I'm thinking about it. They're stressed, but it's their problem!!!Not assistants. Business is the business. Stressed to be a dentist? Don't be a dentist...Why should assistants pay for that and sacrifice themselves for someones businesses. I didn't sign up myself for that. Everybody is stressed.OK? So what about it? Leave your stresses at home...and other "bad stuff". Don't bring that sh...t to other people. Everybody has their lives and families at home. Why should we bring all of that "stress" to our loved ones then? Why should we break our lives then? That dentists would be happy? What kind of BS is that? I'm sorry. I want to be happy too. I'm in a dental office that to work and make my money. No more,no less. I'm not a NANNY for dentists. I "like" that expression "our office is like a family". It confuses people the most. WORK isn't FAMILY. I have my family at home, that is why I work. Don't say me, that my dentist is my family. Don't confuse business matters with personal.

Absolutely true!! Just like the employees can't bring their problems to work, Dentist need to handle their personal issues themselves. I've also worked for some awesome dentists but...like someone said before, most became Dentist because they just couldn't make it in medical school!!

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fallyn2010 in Hanover, Michigan

68 months ago

You are not alone in this....I've worked for a dentist off/on since 1992 and the reason why it was off was because I was on a quest to brighten my horizons because he was the rudest, childish person I'd ever worked for. He's soo cheap and won't give out raises though I will admit he has done alot of dental work for me and maybe that's because he doesn't want to pay me! I've done dental health fairs, i've gone to schools, churchs and even joined an advisor board that he was suppose to be on but he sent me instead! If I told you what I make you would be truly amazed, I feel so hurt and taken advantage of. It's almost like the underground slave labor sweat shops where the people work so hard and are extremely underpaid. He basically believes that during these hard economicly times that we should be happy that we got a job. I've been sending out my resumes, emails and all and to no avail. I do plan to go back to school because I deserve so much more than this, I don't think he'll be satisfied until he's sitting in his practice all by himself!! God help him!!

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

68 months ago

Old Asst in Barrie, Ontario said: Hi Smiley,

You are not responsible for his mental health. Once the boundry between a working relationship and friendship has been crossed in the work place it is not healthy.

If you want to leave and he is guilting you into staying, you've got a problem. Note, that I say 'guilt' and not 'pay raise'. There is a difference. One is emotional the other is for business.

Once the guilt starts, it doesn't go away. It becomes a weapon or tool. Sometimes it feels good to be the one who is 'wanted' the 'special' one in the office, but to get that emotion, one also has to give up ones personal respect and power - which then begins to tear us apart.

Old Asst

Old Asst.

What should I do? Leave the office because he tells me he loves me and that he wants to have a relationship with me. Monday morning , it is back to dental games.

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Kathy in Orlando, Florida

68 months ago

Smileysuzie,if he loves you, marry him. Tell him that it's only relationship you can accept. See what he says. If he will, he really loves you, if not...he just plays with you.

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Smileysuzie in redwing, Minnesota

68 months ago

I dont love him. But I just asked and he loves me. Grrreat..... . NOW WHAT?

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