How To Become More Confident in 8 Powerful Ways

Updated July 31, 2023

Confidence is a state of mind that determines how you feel about yourself and your abilities. In this article, we explore what confidence means, what causes some people to lack confidence and how to become a more confident person.

Related: 12 Benefits of Self-Esteem

What is confidence?

Confidence is an individual's trust in themselves and their ability to succeed. Confident people tend to create their own happiness. They are proud of their accomplishments because they know they have worked hard.

They tend to speak with conviction and do not usually doubt themselves. If they are unsure of something, they are not afraid to ask for help and learn from someone with more expertise.

Confident people understand that taking on too many tasks can be stressful and know how to say no with assurance. They take time to listen to others as this gives them a chance to learn something new. Confidence is an important skill to have, not only in your personal life but also in your career.

What can cause a lack of confidence?

Many things can contribute to a person's lack of confidence. Family life, things they may have experienced in their childhood and other life experiences tend to play a role in shaping an individual's confidence. Genetics can affect an individual's confidence as well.

For example, a person with a low amount of serotonin and oxytocin due to genetics can cause feelings of low confidence. Your temperament may also play a part in your level of confidence. Naturally cautious people tend to be more unsure of themselves and the decisions they make. In some cases, a lack of confidence is caused by bullying or trauma.

Confident people are happier in life and more successful at work so it's important to find ways to boost your confidence.

How to become more confident

Here are eight tips for becoming a more confident person:

1. Be proud of the small things

Those with confidence believe in their goals. On your journey to achieving greater confidence, come up with a goal or several small goals. Use a journal to write down these goals and track your progress.

Celebrate every victory, no matter how small they might seem. For example, you may be a single parent who wants to obtain a specific career. The first step toward obtaining that career is finding a reliable child-care provider. Once you find one, celebrate that goal. Every accomplishment you have will build your confidence in yourself and your abilities.

2. Do not judge others

Judging others tends to mean that they have something you are lacking. Rather than judging someone, try to find what makes them special and find ways to encourage them. Every person has a gift that makes them unique that they can offer the world. Consider that the person you were going to judge might also lack confidence and a compliment from you may help them feel more confident.

3. Learn to say no

Telling people no can be healthy, especially if it's something that you do not want to be a part of. You do not have to help your best friend move if you already have plans with your children. You do not have to feel guilty about telling someone you cannot make it to an outing or a potluck because you want to rest on your day off. Learn to say no to things you do not want to do with confidence and avoid using phrases like "I will think about it" or "I will get back to you."

4. Speak up

Confident people are not afraid to speak up and make their opinions known. If they have something valuable to share, they do so with confidence. They are not afraid to be wrong and see input from others as an opportunity to learn. Be confident about your opinions and don't take being wrong about something personal. Instead, use feedback as a way to improve.

5. Take time to listen

Listening to others gives you a chance to learn new things, especially from those who are more experienced. It allows you to gain knowledge and learn new skills that can help improve your confidence levels. By actively listening and paying attention to others, you can have more productive and rewarding interactions.

6. Believe in your cause

Confident people tend to stick to their beliefs and opinions, even if they feel unsure. If you are confident, optimistic and believe in your cause, others are likely to follow suit. For example, if you believe a change is needed for you and your coworkers, speak on behalf of them and do so with confidence. People are more likely to listen to your ideas and what you have to say when you express them with conviction.

7. Accept that it's OK to be wrong

People with confidence are not afraid to be wrong. Instead, they view being wrong as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. When they are wrong about something or a mistake has been made, confident people tend to hold themselves accountable and find ways to improve for the future. Accept that everyone, even the most confident of people, can be wrong at times.

8. Get exercise

Exercise can be a great way to boost your confidence. Everyone, regardless of their health or fitness levels, can benefit from exercise. Set goals for yourself and keep a journal to track your progress. As you build your strength or achieve other fitness goals, you may improve your confidence in the process.

Frequently asked questions

How can you be more confident at work?

You might lack confidence at because don't understand how well or poorly you're performing, so you can increase your confidence by asking for regular feedback that provides insight into areas of both excellence and potential improvement. You can also acknowledge when you make mistakes, learn from them and improve your processes to avoid errors in the future.

How can you be more confident in a relationship?

In a relationship, it's important to recognize your own value. This can help you understand when someone else appreciates you and when they don't, allowing you to make better decisions about your relationships.

How can you be more confident about your body?

You can increase your confidence in your body by focusing on the parts that you like and avoiding comparisons with other people. Every person is different and recognizing that your body is unique allows you to recognize your strengths.

How can you be more socially confident?

You might lack social confidence if you're in an unfamiliar situation or have little control over how events happen. One way to overcome these issues is to expose yourself to new experiences so that you gain a better sense of how to move and behave through various scenarios. Another is to host social events yourself so you feel that you have more control. If you do attend events you don't host, bring along someone who makes you feel more comfortable and confident.