If you’re feeling emotionally drained, you’re not alone. We’re still grappling with the COVID-19 pandemic, navigating economic uncertainty and processing traumatic events that have directly impacted the Black community. At a time like this, it’s understandable if you feel anxious and exhausted.
Change and upheaval are stressful to manage, causing us to feel more pressure than usual. Not only are we preoccupied with our own worries, but we also have to consider that we may not have full insight into the unique challenges our coworkers face. In addition to regular work and home responsibilities, many people are caring for young children or ill family members. Others may be coping with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Essential workers and those who may be returning to in-person workplaces soon may be concerned about their health and well-being. Those dealing with the chronic stress of racial trauma may feel fear and anxiety.
Each person’s lived experience during this crisis is different — that’s why emotional intelligence (EI) matters. Managing emotions and practicing emotional intelligence in the workplace are critical skill sets to learn as we begin to rebuild the world of work.
But what is emotional intelligence?
You’ve likely seen or heard of the term “EI,” but what does it actually refer to? Author and psychologist Daniel Goleman — who popularized the concept of EI in his 1995 best-seller “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” — defines EI as “the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions as well as to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.”
Goleman outlines EI in four quadrants as follows:
Let’s break down each quadrant to illustrate how you can practice emotional intelligence in the workplace in today’s unique environment.
Be aware of your emotions and values
The first quadrant of EI is self-awareness, which involves recognizing your emotions and their impact, and knowing your strengths and limitations. With the heightened stress that we’re currently experiencing, it’s even more important to pause and cultivate self-awareness.
In addition to being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling, use this time to reflect on your most important values. Even if you’ve done this exercise before, a crisis can be a unique opportunity to reevaluate what’s important to you. Think about your core values. Have they evolved over time? Which ones resonate most right now? Write them down to help you recall what matters most to you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, your core values can be a benchmark to help you prioritize how to best focus your time and energy.
Practice mindfulness when dealing with strong emotions
You can practice self-management, the second quadrant of EI, by cultivating positive reactions when faced with strong emotional triggers. Think about a time you experienced an overwhelming emotion — for example, maybe you received harsh feedback from a colleague that made you feel angry and hurt. To cultivate a positive reaction in this situation, you would first pause and take a moment to identify how you feel. Simply recognizing the emotion brings you into the present moment and helps you begin to process it.
Once you’ve identified the emotion, take a few deep breaths to reset — you’ll feel more calm and clear-headed as you decide the best way to respond. While this all sounds simple enough, it takes practice to manage strong emotional reactions. Just remember that it’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions during these challenging times.
Connect with your team regularly — and don’t just ask about work
“How are you doing? How can I help?” The third quadrant of EI, social awareness, relates to how you handle relationships and your ability to feel empathy for the needs and feelings of others. When asked sincerely, these types of questions can be used as powerful tools for connection and practicing social awareness.
With so many of us still working virtually right now, we have to be even more thoughtful about how we communicate with our teams. Reach out to coworkers individually to see how they’re feeling, and learn where they could use support — and genuinely listen to their responses. Use virtual tools to encourage team members to foster connections, create a sense of belonging and build resiliency. Colleagues that have a better understanding of each other are more likely to be empathetic.
Be empathetic toward your team — especially during conflict
The fourth quadrant, relationship management, refers to your skill or adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others, being a catalyst for change and negotiating conflicts. When you’re trying to resolve conflict during a stressful situation, there’s always potential to overreact when emotions are running high, so it takes practice to maintain a clear head and calm demeanor.
Think about a time you were in a stressful situation — maybe you were working to meet a tight deadline and a coworker turned in an assignment late. In reflecting on your experience, what was your knee-jerk reaction? What would have been the best response? Having open and honest conversations with your colleagues is especially important in today’s environment. This not only helps you diffuse tension and resolve conflict — it allows you to productively brainstorm solutions when you have to adapt to changed circumstances (like the ones we all now find ourselves working in). No matter the situation, practicing empathy is key to overcoming interpersonal conflicts and building stronger relationships, all of which contribute to having emotional intelligence in the workplace.
As we work to overcome this pandemic and move toward recovery, keep in mind that returning to work will look and feel different for everyone. By using EI as a framework to strengthen connections and practice empathy, we can rebuild and get through this — together.
Interested in learning more about emotional intelligence in the workplace? Click below for more EI advice that will help you excel as a talent professional, including how to spot emotional triggers, how to develop EI and how to put EI into practice.