How to Build a Culture of Kindness

Which is nice, yes, but it’s also good business: Research shows that happier employees are more productive and less likely to leave for another job. Leaders, then, should deliberately bake that comity into the fabric of their companies. Organizations should be healthy, welcoming environments on purpose, not just by accident. We spoke with several academics and wellbeing professionals to gather some best practices for building a culture of kindness.

The Power of Rubber Duckie Recognition

Tara Davis, director of internal communications and staff wellbeing at the American Psychological Association

Recognize good work: Before the pandemic, on what the association calls “Recognition Day,” employees filled out cards thanking their colleagues, which were then delivered alongside small rubber duckies. “People would display the ducks around their offices. It was really the highest praise.” In recent years, the exercise of publicly recognizing colleagues has gone digital. Employees can send a “duckygram” (an email with a drawing of a rubber duckie inside) or write a note in the company’s virtual breakroom.

Give your team autonomy: “Be flexible about how employees work and where they work and when they work. That’s kind because you’re showing them that their life matters, that you’re not going to dictate every little bit for them, and that you care about the person, not just the work they produce that day.”

Make meetings better: To combat video meeting fatigue, the association offers some guidelines. “We created healthy meeting practices that show respect and kindness and grace to our colleagues, and a shared understanding that work is not the only thing in their lives,” Davis says. Among them: communicating when cameras need to be on or off, ending meetings a few minutes early to build in breaks, and understanding when people’s personal lives spill onto the screen. “If they can do laundry while also paying attention to this meeting, I’m not mad — I’m impressed. Good for them.” 

Take questions, and answer honestly: “Our CEO has ‘coffee conversations’ once or twice a month, and he will talk about whatever you want to talk about, unless it’s an HR issue. Some people are like, ‘Hey, Arthur, did you watch “Dancing with the Stars”?’ And some might say, ‘Hey, what are we doing about climate change?’ He answers, and he’s vulnerable.”

Kindness and Honesty Breed Respect

William Baker is a former media CEO, professor at Fordham University and co-author of “Leading with Kindness: How Good People Consistently Get Superior Results”

Remember that nice people finish first: So-called “killer bosses” might draw the most media attention, Baker says, but he insists that kinder leaders are generally the ones succeeding today. “What you don’t hear about are the many, many hugely successful business executives who are below the radar and running some of the finest businesses not only in America, but in the world.” 

Take a note from polar explorer Ernest Shackleton: “I’ve been to both the North and South poles, so I’ve spent a lot of time studying some of the great explorers. Shackleton was the person that everybody respected. He was a person who you knew when he said it, he meant it, and he was always telling you the truth. He was good to his word. Those are some of the elements of being a kind boss: being true to your word.” In Shackleton’s case, that meant getting every single one of his men home after more than a year on the ice — arguably a positive business outcome.  

Get up close and personal: “How do you understand your people? Well, one old-fashioned way is simply walking around — getting to know people individually, not throwing some phony party or delivering some phony speech, but actually going around and talking with them. Employees are not parts of a puzzle. They’re human beings who have full and complete lives.”

Celebrate managers: “There’s nothing more important than mid-level management. In almost any major, big business, they’re the ones that really get all the work done. And they’re the ones that need to exude kindness.” 

By Focusing on the Individual, You Better the Organization 

David Hoke, chief wellbeing officer at Thrive Global

Be authentic: “In the age of technology overload, people can watch and see what you’re doing all the time. Being performative won’t work anymore. You have to be authentic; if you’re not authentic, your colleagues and team will see right through you.”

Give employees time to recharge: People can’t reach their fullest potential if their days are booked without breaks and their plates are piled with so much work they can never clear them. “You can’t pour from an empty cup. People can only give you what they’ve got. When you care for people and invest in them, make sure they have enough space. When we give them more, they can give us more.” 

Discourage dog-eat-dog values: “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing,” legendary football coach Vince Lombardi once said. But Hoke argues that’s not the world we live in today. “Today, we need more collaboration, and as a business we need more connectedness. There’s so much negativity in the world outside of work. The macro environment is dominated by negativity, so your people are hearing this all the time anyway. … There’s got to be a safe haven.”

Follow through: “Saying and not delivering is the worst thing you can do.”

Building a Culture of Kindness Takes Time — and Leadership Buy-in

Katina Sawyer, associate professor of management and organizations at the University of Arizona

Assume the best: “When somebody does something wrong or makes a mistake, we should give that person the benefit of the doubt. We should understand that they are human and not assume that they’re out to ruin the organization. A kindness assumption would be: When X happens, I show kindness.”

Hold yourself to the same standards: “Oftentimes, leaders think that creating a culture is for other people. ‘Oh, we’re leaders, so we don’t need to sit in on a training about how to be kinder because we’re senior and we probably already know that.’ When you’re interested in building a culture for the masses but you’re not willing to put the time and effort in yourself, people notice. And the message it sends is: ‘I can get ahead here without being kind to others.’”

Understand that building a good culture takes time: “Organizations expect results immediately after implementing positive change. Actually, it takes some time to create a strong culture. There are multiple components needed, and then those components need time to start resonating.”