Signs of gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at work can take on many forms, and in some cases, the perpetrator and victim may be the only people aware of the behavior. As an employer, you may be blindsided if an employee comes to you to make a complaint about a team member’s gaslighting, especially if the accused perpetrator has a good reputation.

Unless an employee makes a direct complaint about a gaslighter, gaslighting behavior isn’t always easy to spot. This is mainly because a gaslighter’s core behavior is subtle manipulation, and they most likely refrain from that behavior when employers or supervisory personnel are present. However, knowing what signs to look for can help you recognize subtle behaviors and patterns that may indicate gaslighting in the workplace. Here are some common signs and behaviors of gaslighters in the workplace:

• Undermining behavior or performance: This type of behavior tends to be more common in a gaslighting supervisor or manager. The supervisor or manager may openly criticize a team member or allude to unsatisfactory performance in front of other employees to diminish their confidence and make them question themselves. If other team members defend the individual to the supervisor or manager, they may state that they were only joking or give the victim a small, positive comment regarding their performance, only to confuse them even more.
• Persistent blaming: An employee who consistently places the blame on another team member for issues that occur throughout the workday may be using a form of passive-aggressive behavior to exploit the victim, undermine their confidence and paint them in a negative light to employers and/or supervisors and managers.
• Predetermining outcomes of employee complaints: A gaslighting supervisor or manager who takes issue with a certain employee may refuse to take action if that employee complains about another team member. For example, if the employee is being bullied by another team member and chooses to make a formal complaint, the supervisor may automatically take the side of the accused team member and dismiss the complaint, leaving the employee to question their own behavior.

Employee complaints about gaslighting

In the event that an employee does come to you directly to report a team member for gaslighting, here are some common complaints that may come up during your meeting:

• Negative feedback: Your employee may complain about receiving consistently negative feedback from another team member or supervisor when they’re actually turning in consistently good work or performing their job duties as required. This can be confusing to the victim and leave them questioning their overall performance, often leading to unnecessary anxiety and stress in the workplace.
• Negative/untrue gossip: An employee who believes they’re being gaslit may report hearing negative, untrue gossip about themselves started by the perpetrator. If the victim attempts to discuss the incident with the gaslighter, the gaslighter may respond by stating they never said such a thing and that the victim is incorrect or “imagining things.”
• Intentionally causing trouble for the victim: In a gaslighting situation, your employee may report an instance where a supervisor or coworker stated one thing when the exact opposite was true. For example, a gaslighting assistant manager may tell the victim they can have time off when they actually cannot. The victim will take the requested days off, only to receive a call or email from the head manager or supervisor asking them why they didn’t show up to work. The victim will then state that the assistant manager approved the time off, only to have the assistant manager state that they never approved anything, leaving the victim to question themselves.

Putting a stop to employee gaslighting

As an employer, it’s important to provide a safe and comfortable work environment for every employee and never tolerate any form of gaslighting. If you notice signs of gaslighting or you receive a formal complaint from a staff member who claims to be the target of gaslighting or bullying, it’s imperative to fully investigate the situation and take the appropriate actions to stop the behavior and prevent it from reoccurring. Here are some steps to take to put a stop to employee gaslighting in your workplace:

Schedule an in-person meeting

If you suspect a specific employee or group of employees of gaslighting, the first step is to schedule an in-person meeting to discuss your suspicions or the employee complaint. If necessary, request that your company’s HR representatives sit in on the meeting so they can document the employee’s statements. In situations where you suspect multiple employees are of gaslighting, it’s always a good idea to meet with each party involved on a one-on-one basis vs. the entire group.

Begin the meeting by advising the employee of your observations of their gaslighting behavior or the scope of the victim’s complaint. Let them know that you will not tolerate gaslighting in any form in your workplace under any circumstances, then give them a chance to tell their version of events.

While it’s possible that the employee may take responsibility for their actions and admit to wrongdoing on their part, it’s important to keep in mind that gaslighting and manipulation go hand-in-hand. This means that there’s always a chance that the employee may feign innocence or attempt to blame another team member, which are both forms of gaslighting.

Determine whether disciplinary actions are necessary

Once you have heard the employee’s version of events, the next step is to determine what, if any, type of disciplinary action you need to take. You may choose to issue a verbal warning, or you may decide that a suspension, reassignment or termination is necessary if the gaslighting behavior was significant. Prior to issuing disciplinary action, it’s always a good idea to review the employment laws in your state to ensure you’re following the state and federal mandates in regard to employee discipline and termination.

How to avoid gaslighting at work and promote a positive, inclusive environment

As an employer, ensuring your company offers a positive working environment is essential when it comes to employee retention, employee morale and the overall comfort of all staff members. Here are a few ways to avoid gaslighting at work and promote positivity in the workplace:

Create an anti-bullying policy

Since gaslighting is a form of bullying, the easiest way to avoid this behavior at work is to create an anti-bullying policy that clearly states how bullying in any form is unacceptable. If your company already has an anti-bullying policy, but you still receive reports of gaslighting, consider updating your policy to include examples of gaslighting behavior and clarify that you will not tolerate it.

Incorporate your anti-bullying policy into the company handbook, and consider attaching a paper copy of the policy to a bulletin board in your company break room. This helps ensure that your employees are aware of the policy at all times.

Schedule weekly motivation meetings

Another way to maintain a positive working environment is to schedule weekly motivation meetings with your staff members. Unlike regularly scheduled meetings where you discuss work-related matters such as project deadlines or sales quotas, consider designating a time once a week to meet with your employees to offer motivation and encouragement.

For example, if you schedule a motivation meeting every Monday morning, you could treat the staff to coffee and donuts and wish them the best for the week ahead. Alternatively, schedule a weekly motivation meeting every Friday afternoon and treat the staff to pizza and soft drinks as a thank you for all the hard work they put in during the week. Letting your staff know how much you appreciate them is a great way to build team rapport and camaraderie and encourage a happy, balanced work environment.

Benefits of a healthy workplace environment

Taking steps to eliminate gaslighting and bullying behavior in the workplace and encouraging teamwork and a healthy work environment is extremely beneficial for both employers and employees. Standing firm on anti-bullying policies and going the extra mile to create and maintain a safe space shows your employees that you care about their well-being, which in turn can increase employee morale and boost overall production.