What are underhanded comments?

An underhanded comment is a subtle or seemingly polite statement that has a hidden, negative meaning. These comments can leave employees feeling disrespected, undervalued or unsure of how to respond.

Examples may include backhanded compliments, sarcastic remarks or vague criticisms that are difficult to directly challenge. Because they’re delivered in an indirect way, underhanded comments can create confusion, frustration and tension among employees.

Some remarks may stem from a misunderstanding rather than a deliberate attempt to criticize, so offering a chance to clarify can often help prevent conflict in the workplace.

Examples of condescending behavior

Below are examples of condescending remarks and behaviors that fall into this category:

• Talking down to others: Explaining things in an overly simplistic way
• Interrupting or dismissing ideas: Cutting people off mid-sentence or brushing off their input without consideration
• Using a patronizing tone: Communicating in a slow or exaggerated way that feels belittling rather than supportive
• Publicly correcting minor mistakes: Pointing out small errors in front of others to show superiority instead of support

Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they’re overreacting. Actions like these may lower psychological safety and discourage employees from sharing ideas.

5 tips to address underhanded comments at work

Addressing comments quickly and focusing on growth can help keep employees engaged and maintain a positive workplace culture. Here are some steps to help you handle condescension at work.

1. Pause before you react

Employees may not intend to be rude and may unintentionally share an underhanded comment. Consider addressing the comment by asking for clarification. This can encourage the employee to reflect on their comment, potentially leading to an apology or resolution.

Taking the extra step to communicate about intent helps create a supportive atmosphere and encourages everyone to clarify misunderstandings early.

2. Evaluate your relationship

Consider your relationship with the employee making underhanded comments. If it’s a member of your team, you may want to schedule a private one-on-one meeting to discuss their behavior directly.

If the employee reports to another manager, you may decide to discuss the situation with their manager to assess whether the behavior is a common occurrence and collaborate on a solution. A calm conversation may help them see how their words affect team morale.

3. Consider the time and place

Before you react, consider whether it’s an appropriate time to address the comment. For example, are you alone in your office, or are you in a business meeting with other people?

If you’re in a meeting, it likely isn’t the time or place to address the issue. In this situation, ignoring the comment and shifting your attention to other members of your team may be the best way to address it. A calm follow-up afterward may lead to more constructive results.

4. Have a conversation

Document specific instances in advance so you can reference them during the conversation. Mention situations when the employee behaved inappropriately and how it impacted you and other team members. In some cases, the employee may not be aware of how their behavior impacted others.

You can share examples of positive language to use and suggest clarifying misunderstandings to build trust and contribute to a more inclusive environment.

5. Address the problem with HR

If the employee’s behavior doesn’t change after a conversation, address the ongoing behavior by speaking to human resources (HR). HR can offer mediation, highlight policies that promote respect and help all parties find a collaborative solution.

Tips for positive communication

Here are some additional ways to reduce “snarky” comments and encourage positive workplace behavior:

• Switch subjects: Redirect the conversation to a constructive topic to limit negative exchanges.
• Remove the opportunity: If an interaction seems likely to become snarky, politely suggest a different time or place to talk.
• Encourage empathy: To promote kinder communication, encourage employees to consider how they would feel if they received certain comments.

FAQs about handling underhanded comments in the workplace

What are some examples of other disrespectful behaviors in the workplace?

Outside of underhanded comments, other examples of disrespectful behavior include gossip, intimidation or profanity. If left unaddressed, these issues can lead to office drama, employee complaints or formal grievances.

Why do people make underhanded or condescending remarks?

Sometimes, people make underhanded or condescending remarks to make themselves feel better, often without realizing it. Managers can also reflect on their communication to avoid unintentionally making remarks that might reduce collaboration.

How can managers create a culture that discourages underhanded remarks?

Set clear expectations for respectful communication, model the behavior you want to see and address small issues early before they grow into larger problems.